Personally I kept my head well below the parapet during the entire process.

The frenzy of playground conversations just hyped it all up, and I found if I started to absorb all that, the stress was then transferred to my child. Some of the scaremongering about it all among other parents was ridiculous. Totally unhelpful and a lot of the time ‘facts’ I heard about potential schools were untrue.

Everyone’s child is different and will be following unique paths through the process. Just focus on your child, follow your instincts on educational choices, and quietly get through it however it suits you - I wish you the best of luck.

It gets very competitive at this stage from 2 or 3 years before. No one mentions it or speaks about it. Some wd rather have Yr child dead than theirs not get that place. It really is that bad. Any info u need post here or or the 11+ forums on fb etc.

Thanks so much for the guidance!

I would never ask, unless we are very close friends. It would be a very uncomfortable situation if the process is not going well.

Back in the day when we were going through it a small group of good friends (3 of us) decided that we would share where we were up to along the way, but as far as other parents in the playground - I just avoided those conversations as best I could. There is always someone who has a child doing really well and again the exact opposite. It is uncomfortable if you are on the opposing side to them and a conversation starts up, just stressful all round. Others may have a different view?

I didn't grow up in this country and didn't go through he whole 11 process, it is all new to me. Can I please ask any parents who have been through the 11+ process what you normally do in regards to asking other parents how their child is getting on? Is it ok to ask because you genuinely want to be supportive or is it better to keep your head down and make conversation about the weather. I don't want to appear nosey but at the same time I don't want to appear indifferent. It is the strangest of times for parents as well as children.