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Re: Is my boss asking too much ?

by happythoughts » Wed Jan 25, 2012 11:50 am

In my opinion your pocket money and hours are very reasonable, if not generous... I've been an au-pair myself in the past and that's exactly what I was expected to do - 35h childcare plus everyday cleaning for 80 pounds per week (5 years ago). Didn't have my own floor either...:).
Hope you will sort it out with your family and feel happy!
All the best!

Re: Is my boss asking too much ?

by BalhamMumWorkingFT » Mon Jan 23, 2012 2:40 pm

Zoe's Mum - If you have a bedroom and bathroom going spare, Au Pairs are fantastic. A great way to have someone help you out.

£100 for a day of sitting seems right especially a one off. If my Au Pair did a Saturday, she'd get the same.

Re: Is my boss asking too much ?

by instablonde » Mon Jan 23, 2012 2:21 pm

I never had an aupair, but I have a cleaning lady coming every Friday to clean the 3 floors, 5 beds house (but only one 2yrs old child and I am non-working mum and I do everything at home during the week). Still It takes her about 8 hours to hoover all the house from top to the basement, wash all floors, change bedding, clean 3 bathrooms and kitchen + do some ironing -£80 (£10 p/h)

Last saturday we also had a babysitter from 11am till 9pm and I paid £100 (£10) for one day of babysitting.

I do not know how people manage to arrange such a nice deals with aupairs... 2 full days of babysitting +1 day of cleaning for me it always comes around 300 per week. :twisted:

Re: Is my boss asking too much ?

by Minatoku » Mon Jan 23, 2012 2:07 pm

You are definitely being exploited. I have an Au Pair myself who gets paid £140 per week for 30 hours with 2 days off, one week sick leave and 4 weeks paid holidays. I would never dare ask her to do what you are being asked.
If I were you I would have a serious chat with the parents and leave if nothing improves.
Good luck !

Re: Is my boss asking too much ?

by mummytimestwo » Mon Jan 23, 2012 9:55 am

I'm a bit confused about why a number of people have said the nanny is being exploited and that this is above and beyond etc - didn't she say the contract stated that the job involves both cleaning and childcare, and that she's not being asked to do more hours than agreed? It sounds to me that the parents have decided to combine two jobs (cleaner and au pair) into one job position and pay the extra (£150 cash per week for 35 hours with all accommodation and expenses paid for sounds pretty good!). Is it the type of cleaning that's the problem, as I would have thought that any type of cleaning the household requires, within the 3 hours of agreed cleaning time stipulated, would be reasonable? Would the parents be expected to get an additional cleaner in to do polishing/laundry etc when they're already paying someone for 3 hours cleaning per day?

Re: Is my boss asking too much ?

by simplyme » Sun Jan 22, 2012 7:19 pm

I think you need to sit down and ask them to confirm what household chores you are responsible for. A bit of cleaning can really mean anything.How much is a 'bit' and what do you need to do.

Re: Is my boss asking too much ?

by Sunnies » Sat Jan 21, 2012 9:29 pm

Oh thank you everyone for your answers.
@ twice as nice : I do feel comfortable with them, so far it has been 3 great months and I wish to stay with them more. I really don't want to change or move out as I have now a very particular relationship with the boy !
I spoke with the mum today and the dad didn't tell her what he said to me. She was a bit surprised that he asked me that and she said that I don't have to polish the table and that so far, she has nothing to say about the cleaning that I am doing.
But then, today the dad was a bit cold with me, I guess he didn't like that I spoke to the mom ...

@twingirls mama : thank you for proposing and for the advices, I am going to start writting what I do each day ! I am free if you need babysitting though ;-)

Re: Is my boss asking too much ?

by twingirlsmama » Sat Jan 21, 2012 10:54 am

nanny 26 - speak to the mum. she probably has no idea what your day now involves. if you are good at your job and the children are happy i think she would very unhappy to lose you and to then have to find someone else. write down perhaps what you are being asked to do in a typical week - keep a 'diary' of what youve done each day and then show it to her. this would perhaps be more powerful a demonstration of the workload than your just telling her. note down too the hours each day and then reference this with Home Office guidelines (they are only guidelines however) and if you are well paid (which you are) and have superior accommodation then i dont think its unreasonable to do that bit more than perhaps is considered the basic requirements.
you could come to us if i had enough room!

Re: Is my boss asking too much ?

by twice_as_nice » Sat Jan 21, 2012 9:57 am

sorry, didn't see MG Midget's post and realise I've suggested pretty much what she had...sorry for repeating! :)

Re: Is my boss asking too much ?

by twice_as_nice » Sat Jan 21, 2012 9:54 am

I think the most important thing is that you feel comfortable and happy doing the work you're asked for the compensation you're getting.

I don't have an au pair, never have (as yet) but I do think he probably is taking the p*ss a bit - as someone said, men can be a bit happier to do that than mums! :D I personally normally go the other way, making sure my house is really tidy before the cleaner comes and not asking her to do the annoying bits like moving our massive heavy sofa to clean under it which I do myself! My husband thinks I'm mental!

I think he's probably going to push you as far as he can. Looking at it from the other side, I suspect your employers feel that they can ask you to do all this cleaning as they are paying you 50% more than the expected compensation for the same amount of hours (you don't seem to be doing more than the 35 hours that are expected of an au pair).

You need to feel comfortable in the place that you're living and it sounds like you're not so if you're not comfortable, you should have a word with them. You could always try and negotiate £100 pay for primarily childcare and light house work, which would give them £50 to get a cleaner each week. And if they don't change then you should move, knowing that you may find yourself in a similar situation with less wages (unfortunately I expect there are lots of families who expect too much of their au pair - as well, I'm sure, as lots of lovely families too).

Re: Is my boss asking too much ?

by Sunnies » Sat Jan 21, 2012 8:57 am

Thanks MGMidget for your reply. I work just over 35 hours, in the contract I have it's 36 hours. It wasn't written "general cleaning", the mom always said and wrote " a bit of cleaning", "mucking in". I know, I am paid above the average, I am aware of that and I askede this question here to know if it was normal to ask me things like that or not.
I do feel lucky as an au pair but being asked to do things like that were a bit too much, not that I don't like the cleaning, I do it but I guess, there are limits.

Re: Is my boss asking too much ?

by MGMidget » Fri Jan 20, 2012 3:15 pm

What the total hours you are working? Au pair plus is up to 35 hours a week and pocket money varies but £150 is definitely above average. Remember you are getting a whole floor of accommodation to yourself which is worth a fortune around here and presumably you are getting all your meals provided so full-board accommodation. However, it does sound like the father is trying it on a bit when the mother is away, expecting you to deal with lots of extras. I would have a constructive discussion with the mum when she is back about setting out the expectations and hours of work so that you know when you have time off. As far as doing all the cleaning is concerned, the norm is usually some 'light housework' but as you are being paid above the average, as long as you knew what your duties were when you accepted the job and your working hours are 35 or less, then it probably isn't unreasonable. If you hate the cleaning but otherwise like the job you could try suggesting a reduction in pocket money down to £100 or £110 if they get a cleaner to come in for a few hours a week. If you are still not happy with the situation after discussing with the mum then you can probably find something else locally but you may find you will be paid £100 or less.

Re: Is my boss asking too much ?

by BalhamMumWorkingFT » Fri Jan 20, 2012 1:09 pm

We have an Au Pair which gets paid less but my kids are in school almost full time. Anyway, it is a hard subject to broach as an average wage for an Au Pair Plus (30-35 hours a week with 2 full days off) is about £100. Usually this equates to child care for school aged children and light cleaning which includes chores mainly revolving around kids (laundry, dishes, etc..).

With that said, if you think it is all getting to be too much, you must talk to your host family no matter what anyone else thinks. I really want my live in to be happy! And to be getting out of their experience what they want. Au Pairs are NOT NANNIES. As a host family you are responsible for being a host family not an employer.

Good Luck.

Re: Is my boss asking too much ?

by Sunnies » Thu Jan 19, 2012 11:30 pm

The mom has been away and maybe that's why he tried to ask me more. I didn't get a chance to talk to her yet but of course I will because she is a great person, we got on very well and also, the child loves me a lot so that would be a shame for me to leave really. I will give it a try !

Thank you all for your replies, I really appreciate

Re: Is my boss asking too much ?

by AbbevilleMummy » Thu Jan 19, 2012 11:25 pm

I have just thought, have you tried speaking to the mum?

It's just that I know my husband sometimes pushes the boundaries with regards to my housekeeper and also my nanny. I think men are different to women in that they always to try get as much as they can (where everything's concerned)!

In my experience, when I have found out that my husband has asked my housekeeper, babysitter or nanny for a favour that is outside what has been agreed, I have been furious as it is so important to me that these people are happy to work for us as without them I would be lost and these favours can make them feel much the same way that you feel. Losing them would not impact my husband greatly, but for me it would be awful as I trust them and need them.

You may find that the mum has no idea that her husband is making these requests so I would suggest having a quiet word first if you can.

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