I agree with kiwimummy. It may be that she isn't used to drinking and therefore got drunk more quickly. I think, in hindsight, you should have made it clear to her that she was 'on duty' and that you would therefore appreciate it if she didn't drink any alcohol. Inviting someone to join in with a party would probably lead her to think that she was free to enjoy herself.

Of course, it goes without saying, that she shouldn't drink in charge of the children, but she probably felt that on this occasion she was simply there to help out. Lines always get blurred with nannies/au pairs.

Yes, alcohol is ok for certain times and places but she was there as a nanny and what if you needed her to drive the children somewhere?! Alcohol is never ok if there is a chance of having to drive. If she is a non-driving nanny then fine, just tell her to tone it down a bit at parties and carry on. But if part of her duty is to drive at all then no, alcohol is never acceptable on this job.

I'm not connected with the nanny world anymore, but remember a similar incident with a nanny when my kids were young, dreadful behaviour, very drunk, didn't feel could trust her to look after the kids from then on ... I sacked her.

I didn't say it was nanny bashing. I said people on this site are usually quite fond of it but replies this time seem to be sensible ones.

I would agree that this is likely a situation where the expectations were somewhat mixed. If you knew she was drinking at the party, then she probably thought you were fine with it. In fact, I'd probably offer our nanny a glass or two of champagne in the same situation. Your expectation would have been that she'd stop, but I think she thought she was being generally included and it was fine to drink. Best to deal with it by a friendly chat, and be very clear about her role if you hire her for any subsequent parties. It would be a shame to lose a good nanny over a misunderstanding.

i agree with Chloe, it is after all about communication. Tell her your expectations, where she went wrong and that you will expect her to rectify. You are her employer after all so you need and if she is good with the kids then we all deserve a second chance. Good luck.

I totally see how this could be a worry, but I would try not to fret too much if she is a good nanny on a day to day basis - and genuinely loves the kids.
Good childcare - and a nanny you get on with - can be sooo hard to find. I agree with one of the other posters that she probably feels so comfortable with you that the boundaries have slightly blurred. In some ways, it's nice that she feels part of the family and not just a hired help.
Also - as there were lots of other adults, and other parents, she might have felt a couple of glasses was acceptable - I'm quite sure she would never have done this if she was alone with the kids.
There are so many things that could go wrong with a new nanny - I would stick with her if this is the worst thing she's done x

I certainly didn't see it as nanny bashing... and I'm a nanny! Fair question, varied responses.

Hope it goes well =)
Chloe

Thank you for all the comments and advice.

I'm not looking to nannybash but I do want to understand if a nanny getting pissed on duty, even at a party, is something I should be worried about.

I'll have a quiet word and explain how I feel, I think this will be a case of two strikes and she is out

MGMidget maybe she should be checked for track marks as well, never know she could be a secret junkie.
Petal does that include parents drinking at home while they have children??
I get that she shouldn't have been drinking and generally comments are not too bad given lots of you love a bit of nanny bashing.

MGMidget maybe she should be checked for track marks as well, never know she could be a secret junkie.
Petal does that include parents drinking at home while they have children??
I get that she shouldn't have been drinking and generally comments are not too bad given lots of you love a bit of nanny bashing.

Was it clearly agreed that she was working and there to look after the children rather than an invited guest at the party who was an extra pair of hands with the children? If it was, and you or your husband weren't offering her a drink or topping up her glass all the time then I'd be quite worried about her error of judgement. It wouldn't be acceptable to me for my nanny to be drunk when looking after my child and I would be deeply embarrassed if she was also supposed to be looking after friends' children and they saw her like this. If you were all in the same room together though she has probably taken the (wrong) view that there are plenty of others there to help out and she's not solely responsible. Very bad form though when she was being paid to look after the children so you and your guests could 'let your hair down'!

I would definitely have a word to let her know you weren't happy about it. I would be wondering that if she makes mistakes like this could I be sure she's making sound judgements when I'm not there? I would also wonder how much control she has over her drinking habit if she's got drunk when working. If it was my nanny, I'd be taking a closer look at her eyes when she arrives at work in the mornings for a few weeks until I was sure it was a one off and she doesn't have a drink problem! Hopefully it was just a bit of immaturity, nothing more, and she'll have learnt her lesson.

This, for me, would not be acceptable at all; drinking on the job whilst being responsible for little ones. If she wasn't given permission drink by you or your husband, then the thought of having a drink should never have entered her mind.

I agree with the nanny answers. I was a nanny for a great many years and am now a mother myself. I think perhaps this, whilst being a bit of a slip up on your nanny's part (no one likes to create problems in a household situ, so am sure it was a slip up), actually reveals that your nanny is comfortable with you and your family , and is open and readable enough to make a mistake in front of you. None of us are Mary Poppins, and no one wants a boozed up nanny - but actually I think in a way it is positive that she is not a sneaky type (I've known them and they are far worse...ie. acting all prim and proper in front of you and then flirting with your husband behind your back- urgh vile but true unfortunately of someone that I met whilst working). Someone who has their guard down enough to make a mistake in front of everyone is someone who doesn't feel as though they have anything to hide. The other thing is, if she is quite young as many nannies are, she may have a different version of 'drunk' than we do as mum's! Maybe she thinks if she can still talk, then it's ok!

She will be mortified I'm sure, but if you are not happy, then definitely raise it with her. Maybe open the conversation with how much you like her/ appreciate how she cares for the children, but let her know that she may have enjoyed herself a little too much at the party - you could even say that one of your guest pointed it out and that is the only reason why you are mentioning it. I'm sure it won't happen again.

You hear so many horror stories, that I would say, if she is a good nanny and you like her in general, then she is a decent person who forgot her place - easy to do when you work within someone's home.

You sound like a nice family to work for, so I'm sure things will be resolved.

Failing that - you could just hand her an Alcoholics Anonymous card and a phone...

We all make mistakes, and if you're generally happy with her performance, than this can be chalked up as a mistake.

But that doesn't mean to let it go entirely ... definitely have a word. Think of it this way -- if you were her boss in an office setting, and she got a bit squiffy at the summer party when she was supposed to be hand-holding a client ... well, you wouldn't fire her over it, but you'd perhaps have a friendly but stern word the next day -- "I know it was a party, and we were all having a good time, but you had a job to do and as your employer I can't say I thought you did it fantastically. That having been said, let's just make sure it doesn't happen again & move on."

You have to let her know you didn't find it appropriate, else you're more or less saying you're fine with it. But there's also no need to throw out the baby with the bath water.