Trust your instincts and don't let anyone make you feel guilty or that what you' re doing is wrong. Different cultures and people all bring babies up differently so what is unnatural to one is common sense to another. Trust yourself... In every facet of their life.

Oh. And get good food delivered!!

the first child really benefits from routine. come 8pm, we used to lower the lights in the lounge and put some music on, like "chilled Ibiza" and at the agreed hour put our baby to bed. sounds nice and it worked.
however, the second child got dragged up... so perhaps the calming music served to relax us, the adults...

Trust yourself, you will know your baby better than anyone else by the end of day one! Definitely try to sleep when baby sleeps....make the most of your partners paternity leave and sleep/ get them to take baby out for a walk so you can switch off and nap. I didn't do this as I felt euphoric for weeks but I wish I'd made the most of the help.
Try to have skin on skin with your baby after birth....for as long as possible. I did 10 hours and it was wonderful! Very good for encouraging breast feeding too. Enjoy, take time to sit and be, to cuddle and sniff them! They grow up SO quickly but it does just get better and better.

Nb I meant THEY do it in the neo natal wards, versus suggesting that you pop in there yourself to give it a try!

We also slept our first on his side ! A breast feeding counsellor showed us how to do it so he was literally wedged in and couldn't roll anywhere. Try do it in the neo natal wards, but if you try it do make sure you are shown how to do it just for your own peace of mind. I think some babies hate that vulnerable feeling of lying on their back after being so cosy in the womb, but as the previous poster says all babies are different and you have to read your own (although that's harder than it sounds!). My second baby slept in a bouncy chair because he preferred the slightly upright position. Really there's a lot of trial and error along with an acceptance that there will be great phases and super crap phases. Never be smug or in despair as it may all change at any minute! Wishing you the best of luck..

After endless days and nights - often crying more than my baby and trying gina, baby whisperer etc I hired in help- it turned out it wasn't the routine it was that my baby wasn't comfortable. The maternity nurse gave me the confidence to try new things as I could only find out things i shouldn't be doing! She said to stop reading books and to read my baby! It turns out my baby is a side sleeper (using a sleep wedge so she couldn't roll over) swaddled really tightly with a dummy. All no no's according to my books but it literally changed our lives overnight. The maternity nurse also put her in her own room from 8 weeks so I learnt not to jump up every time she made a noise.

Just keep trying new things and don't ever think you've cracked it as every stage is a "phase" the good and the bad ones.

I'm now 8 months in with a through the nighter who happily sleeps in her cot without a dummy (and there wasn't the dramatic battle to give it up that I was led to believe - that's because they are all different. Good luck

We got one of those rocking cradle swings for our unsettled one. He practically did all his sleeps in it. It was a life saver. And don't panic a bit that being a "habit" - he didn't sleep in it forever and it got us through the rough bits. My first baby did all his afternoon naps till he was three in a buggy. We kept the buggy in his room but it also provided us the flexibility to go out for lunch etc. He would do a full three hours in it. My point is do whatever works, and if nothing is working just make sure you have someone who can help you around- husband, friend, doula , babysitter etc so you can step away, breathe and realise it's not always going to be like that. EVERYONE has bad days and weeks with babies. And never never never compare yourself with anyone else and their baby. I enjoyed my first baby the most because I had never read a single book, had no expectations and didn't know what a routine was. When you are ready for a routine, whether that's after 3 days or 3 months then is the time to do it, but because you want it, not anyone else. Just be aware that forcing it too early might make you feel you are failing when you are not. Let those days just go when the baby just needs to cry. He/she has no other way of communicating, but it sure is brutal on you. Go easy on yourself...

Hello and congratulations!

I totally feel for you. Please don't feel like a failure. I remember feeling exactly the same with my first baby. I was totally overwhelmed and not enjoying motherhood at all. My baby was also a cryer and it does really make you doubt yourself especially if you have no clue as to what the matter is. (I never worked it out) The only advise I have is do whatever you can to get through it. Forget about routines etc. feed all the time if it helps, go for endless long walks etc. and trust in the fact that it won't last forever. And also your baby is only a couple of weeks old, they change so much every day that you might find you will have a happy/smiley baby tomorrow.

But most importantly believe on yourself. You sound like a great mum. Having your first baby is the hardest thing on the world. It will get easier. I can report that my very difficult/screaming first baby became such.a happy, content,easy toddler. Whereas my 2nd was an angel baby and she is now.a terror!

Agh...those early days....so wonderful but so horrendous. Hang on in there mama - I am sure you are doing a fab job!

Baby no1 - i had him in the sling and sat bouncing on my birthing/exercise ball. And then fed him again. He liked being cuddled in arms.
Baby no2 - I just fed and fed and fed. He was a little and often man. He was also a screamer. He liked being cuddled upright. Bizarrely parking pram by washing machine on spin cycle used to make him sleep!?

Other friends have sworn by: white noise (turning hair dryer on), walks in pram, car, swaddling, not swaddling, co-sleeping, routines, singing Kum by ya whilst swaying wildly - you name it someone's done it!

I hope that you find something that works for you and your baby but equally trust your mummy instinct if you think something isn't quite right.

Xxx

Hi there, i feel for you. I can guarantee that every mum on this site has experienced what you are going through right now. You are NOT failing! It's normal. I promise! When that happened to us, we found that walking up and down the stairs over and over again with the baby helped, or even just walking around and around and around the room!! They often like gentle motion. It's exhausting i know, but keep going. You're doing fine!!

He is 2.5 weeks old. The HV told me it's normal. Not massively helpful, I thought.

You're not failing!!!!

How old is your baby? It could be colic/reflux/anything.

Go to your GP and health visitor and keep saying that there's something not quite right until someone listens and helps you. It will probably have an easy fix and the worst thing you can do is stay at home fretting that its something to do with your inabilities.

You'll be fine, we've all been there, sat up in the middle of the night sobbing over an inconsolable baby not knowing what the hell to do.

Xx

Hi everyone, I am the original poster and now that I have finally become a mum I am finding all the advice invaluable. Maybe you can give me a little further help...
If my baby is fed, changed, burbed, warm but is crying constantly, won't settle in the Moses basket (I am not a fan of co sleeping so that potemtial suggestion/solution won't help unfortunately) but is even crying in my arms, what on earth am I doing wrong and how can I get him to stop crying? I don't know what to do, even the fact that he won't stop crying in my arms leads me to believe I am failing miserably at this motherhood thing. What did you do it's a new born when they were clean, fed etc but still didnt stop crying?
Thank you so much for any advise in advance..or is this normal?

Just treasure those short few weeks when they sleep like a little frog on you, remember everything, take hundreds of photos and videos, don't sweat the small stuff and don't listen to your parents or in laws. It goes so quickly and is so, so precious. Good luck! x

Get a tumble dryer!