Postby MagnoliaMum » Thu Mar 18, 2021 9:25 am
That sounds tough, I'm sorry. My first reaction on reading your post, with obviously no idea of the background other than what you have written, was that this is not the sort of decision that you go away and make on your own, even with third-party help, and then report back to your husband. Surely you need first to explore this with him in order to fully know what your response is? For example, if you tell him you're not sure the marriage has a future and he says "Yes, me too, let's split", that would feel very different to him saying "Oh no, that's really sad, how can we try to work through this"? And with children involved, there's far more at stake than just how you feel.
Then on re-reading, it seemed to me that you're feeling unsettled and unhappy and assuming that it is probably to do with your marriage. Again, not knowing you at all, have you considered that it is the current lockdown situation that might be a huge factor in this? Everyone I talk to is a bit miserable at the moment; the lockdown seems interminable and has sucked from our lives so many of the things that give joy, variety, challenge. We are in far closer proximity to our immediate families than is normal, with not much respite from their irritating habits etc. So maybe it would be helpful for you to individually explore the source of your malaise, but making sure to include the wider picture of everything that is happening or not happening in your life.
'Relate' would be a good starting point for individual counselling and then leading to marriage guidance if helpful later. Just to clarify in case you do google searches, you've confused the spelling: 'councillors' work in the council for local government, you want 'counsellors' or 'counselling' here who help with relationship and life issues. Wishing you the best of luck.