Postby Ex Clapham resident » Mon Nov 29, 2021 11:33 am
You have got some really good, balanced feedback above.
I had 13 months off which was great and went back 3 days a week to a senior finance role for both financial and personal reasons. I’ve always been very ambitious and get my self- validation from my work.
I always felt like I was resented by quite a lot of junior team members for not always being there, although I often checked and replied to emails on my days off. It caused me a lot of stress and because I was tired, having to get a challenging toddler to nursery at 7:30 on my days in , I almost had a breakdown. Looking back now, though, I think a lot was in my head from hormones and tiredness and the desperation to prove I could make it work.
However, things changed internally (toxic people left) and I then had a great team and was able to continue to work 3 days a week until my child was 7. I now work 4 days a week and am really happy with it. It’s flexible, so I pick my hours around school pick up and really don’t regret going back to work part-time and spending that time with her when she was younger.
Part time is the best balance for me- it’s hard often at work, but I think you have to work on not feeling guilty that you’re not always there and be kind to yourself. Also nowadays, remote working gives you back an additional 2 hours a day of not travelling and having to rush to/from nursery/school on when you’re working from home.
I’m really glad I didn’t go back full time- my friends who did that missed out on lots of time with their children and were often too tired at weekends to enjoy them. I also made friends with mums at school on my days off, which would have been harder had I never been there.
I’m also glad i didn’t stay at home full-time. I spent 2 years in a less pressured role and even in that time felt that I started to lose my brainpower and confidence.
I agree with the above- try and agree a year off, then work flexibly. If that really doesn’t work, then you can make a decision. You’ll always gain comfort from knowing you tried.
My only regret is that I allowed myself to get so stressed by the work, and I think this had contributed towards my child being stressed. The job has to be the right one.