Anger Management & Impatience Post Reply

[jemima123]

I have a 2 year adorable toddler and I could be happier in my marriage. I really need to be pointed in the right direction so please help! I have real anger management issues and fly off the handle way too easily at my husband. I am totally impatient.. I always apologise but can't be much fun for him as it takes hardly anything to set me off being vicious - Does anyone know anyone I can go and see... Or have any advice? I am worried if I get pregnant again I could get even worse...

[2boysmum]

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/0749953 ... ot_redir=1

Highly recommend this . There is also an app called get some headspace. Only works if you do it every day - bit like brainwashing. Some v sensible stuff though, and v calming....

[lalectrice]

Anger directed outwards is very commonly a manifestation of troublesome feelings one is having within oneself - this could be anxiety, low self-esteem, depressive thoughts, e.g. Therapy-wise you could look at CBT, which focuses on techniques aimed at helping you cope with the behaviour, or at psychotherapy, which is more interested in uncovering how our past experiences and relationships form and affect how we respond to our worlds today (and therefore helping problematic feelings and actions). To find a therapist of either sort, try the British Association of Counsellors and Psychotherapists website.

[lalectrice]

www.bacp.co.uk

[zaza107]

This might sound wildly simplistic, and I certainly don't mean to diminish what might be a more substantive issue, but have you looked at whether you are hungry at the times you're most angry? Similar to the comment below about exhaustion, I find that I am very snappy (or worse!) in the evenings. I get home from work and pay lots of attention to my toddler, prepare dinner, do the bath, get her to bed etc. and sit down to supper around 8:15. My husband helps loads, so that's not an issue. I've found that on nights that I have a reasonable snack before I start the evening fun and games, I am a zillion times more relaxed and calm than if I do not. It might be worth carrying around an apple, a pack of raisins, a few oatcakes, a banana, a chocolate bar etc. for yourself, as well as for your two year old? If it's more than that, please do look into the options that the others mention.

[jemima123]

really grateful for your responses. Exhaustion & Hunger are very good points and I will look at the app and into seeing someone. More thoughts very welcome! Have a good week.

[brihoney]

I read this book and found it very helpful
Peacefulness parents happy kids
http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/0399160 ... ot_redir=1

She had a whole chapter about how to keep calm and stop shouting (mostly at kids). She talk about how if you parents were yellers, you have that as your model of parenting but you can choose a different way.

She also had a web site that had lots of different age appropriate advice.

http://www.ahaparenting.com/

It's more about managing anger directed at kids nit husbands, but a great book.

[Genie]

Have you talked to your husband (calmly and objectively) about what's happening? If he is an understanding person, maybe he can help you by being tolerant, helping to shield your child from the worst of it, and taking some of the stressors off of your shoulders. Don't feel guilty. Caring for a two year old isn't easy.

Not sure about therapy, but more tangible help like a weekly cleaner, a spa weekend by yourself or with some girlfriends, etc. might help you feel less stressed.

Also, if you can find some time, meditation and yoga are really helpful in generally chilling you out, as well as giving you some tools to use when you feel yourself getting wound up.

good luck

[mich]

I saw that Batterseayoga offer therapy courses including anger management which might be helpful. Hope you find something that works for you.

[rwickham]

Hi
Positive Parenting ran a classes at Eat Play Love and I spoke to one of the owners, Elaine. The classes were very well attended (which is always a good sign), and I felt the advice and help given were really well thought out and contstructive.

I'd sugget having a look through their website at http://positiveparenting.com/ and seeing if there are some options there that might help you.

[pippip]

I agree with the above poster. I went through a phase of being excessively angry at everything and it was really a mask for depression and unresolved issues. I had low dose antidepressants and psychotherapy and am much better now. Hope you feel better soon.

[carosandyselmi]

I agree with what everyone has said below - it seems there is an underlying problem. Anger and frustation more time than not stems from anxiety. I suffered from anxiety and to this day have to manage it. I found Reiki and meditation the best way to combat this. The other thing I took a long time to realise is that 'no one not even your partner or child can make you happy - only you can make and create your own happiness - you own it'. From what you have said you are clearly happy with your life but we need to be happy with ourselves too. I hope that makes sense.

I agree speaking to your partner but perhaps try and eradicate some of the tension you are feeling first otherwise, often we become defensive and emotional and as a result may end up in a big argument with our partners instead of addressing the real problem.

Have you ever heard of Reiki before? It brings about a calm and relaxing state, leaves the body feeling rejuvenated and relaxed. It is also promotes healing of the; the mind, body and soul. Therefore fabulous at dealing with anger, anxiety and frustration and will often bring about the root/ cause of the problem.

It invloves lying on a comfortable massage couch, you remain fully clothed and often covered and tucked up in a comfy blanket whilst a Reiki practitioner places their hands above your body in strategic positions. You will just lull into a relaxed state and usually fall asleep. After about 45minutes you will gently be woken as if from a restful sleep and feel calm relaxed and balanced.

Let me know if you are interested and I will be happy to provide further information.

All the best - I hope you find a solution to everything soon.