Messy parents Post Reply

[aloha]

I have nothing against people having nanny at all-that wasn't my point and I would hate to cause offence-apologies if it was taken that way. I posed the question that for these particular women (and i'm not being judgemental here -from the experiences i have had it has always been women-i can't speak for others) do they leave the discipline to someone else perhaps because I can't fathom how they think such behaviour is acceptable? Of course there are lots of people with nannies who are stellar parents and expect appropriate behaviour…i'm just trying to work out what's going on here-how can clearly educated people think that this is acceptable behaviour??

[supergirl]

I couldnt agree more with gruffalo dad and abbevillemummy.
We did the same with our children.
In my experience, it is about setting up expectations. We (my husband and I) would never tolerate anything less that good behaviour otherwise no matter they want to eat out it will not happen.

[supergirl]

*how much*

[AnotherMummy]

I am sadden by how offensive a few posts come across - I am sure it was not intentional.I agree with AbbevilleMummy that it does not cast the right shadow for our children.
Parenting is a hard job and there is no doubt every parent is trying their best for their children. That's why I wish we would support each other more rather than be quick at judging. I was wondering what an initial post would look like if written applying the "positive parenting" thinking...something like "I am sitting in a restaurant today and I am pleased to see two Mums engaging their young toddlers in clearing up the food that had fallen on the floor..."and I wonder what kind of changes "positive praise" posts at wider scale would trigger...

[juliantenniscoach]

Well it would be completely different wouldn't it? But the post was about the OP being shocked at the selfish behaviour of parents who had no regard to the other customers or staff. No one is perfect and no one is suggesting they are.

However it is more than reasonable to expect a certain standard of conduct if you are going to take your family to a public place. It's not acceptable just to say "they're children" or we're in a "child friendly area", that's just abdicating one's responsibility.

We don't let my girls run around in a restaurant, we do our best to keep our noise at a reasonable level and we always help clear our mess. I'm not being 'holier than thou', I'm just behaving in a way I'd like others to behave with me in a public place.

[chattymama]

There is no criticism of children as kids will be kids.

Consideration towards others is what society needs, not selfishness

Well said OP.

India Knight wrote her own rant on this (I originally sent this piece to my MIL, who frequently bemoans the lack of even 'basic' table manners these days).... sorry if the pic is a bit fuzzy but the full link is behind the paywall.

I'm sure there are times when parents genuinely have to rush off, but as an ex-waitress myself, my advice would be that a heartfelt 'I'm so sorry about the mess', coupled with a generous tip (cash, if possible), goes a long way!