Postby sunshine1 » Thu Jun 16, 2011 11:28 am
Hello lovely ladies,
THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR YOUR WORDS OF WISDOM!
It sounds like some of you have all gone through the pain that I have been going through. I would love to answer to you all personally, but I have a small toddler in the background that won't allow me!
Just to summarise I did all the ground work with the CSA they were completely useless if im honest. He managed to dodge them, and they made a nil assesment. He was in the city and used to earn 250k PA, and he claims he has no money. He is no longer in the city, but has other forms of income. In the meantime as previously mentioned his lifestyle is inconsistent with his earnings! He is blatantly taking the p*ss!
I have tried to be reasonable on every level, tried to be amicable, and almost tried to be friends for the sake of our child. he always manages to let me down, and refuses point blank to contribute more than the the 200 quid that he currently gives. This is also, as and when he pleases and I have to practically beg him every month. He has no empathy or consideration for anybody other that himself! He has a huge huge problem paying the maintenance. All to do with being the control freak that he is!
In the meantime he has managed to have another child, which makes things harder, as i know that child will never be compromised!
I lost my job, over the stress of this situation, a high profile job, which I enjoyed, but I couldn't hack it with the emotional stress i was going through. I was practically just turning up to the office, and not performing. I am now struggling to find work.I blame him, he shows no sympathy! I have told him I am struggling and our child is being compromised, but he dosent care! I continue to pay for a private nursery a couple of times a week, as my child thoroughly enjoys it, but also I cannot afford to lose her place! This is in excess of 600 pounds pm and he had never contruibuted to that either.
I
For the record we are not married, and both own our own properties. He owns several! He is however on my childs birth certificate and wants to be involved in my daughters life. What he dosent want is to share the financial responsibilty. Everytime I bring the subject up of money, he claims he cant afford it! This as we all know, is rubbish!
I did speak to a lawyer very briefly last year, and I am aware if taken to court, we could negotiate a lump sum. This will absolutely freak him out. He would be a million times worst off. I have tried to be reasonable, but he wont play ball. The other thing is he is one step ahead of me, and would of done all the ground work to protect himself. I am more than aware, that some of his properties are not in his name,. Very difficult to prove that he generates an income from these. I think he is more than prepared should we end up in court. Nothing fears him!
I will have this battle for the next 18 years if I do not take this to court. I am dealing with the most unreasonable human being there is out there!
I am not prepared to sit back and let him take the mick out of me!
It is ruining my life, I cant move on, and im angry al the time. I do not like the person I have become because of him! It consumes all my energy!
Thankyou all for the recommendations. I will be contacting all of them for a chat. I will feedback to you all how I get on!
I am currently way abroad, to get away from it all!
Chat soon
Sunshine!
