yumumm
“I went to do a good deed today-change a shirt, instead I return with the same shirt and a £25 travel fine.”
Week 22- what’s in store for me this week? Well; back pain, cramps, varicose veins, vivid dreams and the best of all severe weight gain! I simply cannot weight (excuse the pun) So I found out (I just had to stop then to remove my bra, due to the adverse pressure it was putting on my ever expanding breasts.) I will continue the baby that I so wished to be a boy turns out to be a girl with as the midwife said “very long legs” if you have met my partner a giant in waiting you would understand why. But I mustn’t sound ungrateful she is healthy and currently as I type, using my uterus as some sort of tennis court/swimming pool or something that means she moves at every possible angle at every possible chance, particularly 22:15pm to be exact, the time when I would like to relax and read my book, that is the time my child would like to have a game of golf!
I am not your average girl, I don’t enjoy clothes shopping, food shopping or anything else that means trudging around traffic of people, so hence the thought of having a girl who most probably will want to do this and enjoy it, terrifies me. I have friends that style me, oh what the hell even my partner styles me (co-ordinating colours has never been my strong point, cooking a good spag bol is though) Hence , I ask the question to many of you this is an easy one, but how much is too much to spend on a baby grow? The answer Apparent to the lady selling Paris Couturier £85 is a bargain, I silently disagree and shift away to the hats and end up still spending £22 on something you would need a microscope to see properly. I am not one of those mums to be that gets a tear in the eye walking into baby Gap (I’ll save that for D-Partner) Of course I love the child I have never seen, but until I get through the impending birth situ I just can’t be that emotional. Again I get it wrong, when proudly presenting a beautiful blue and cream baby grow to my fashionista friend, she shoots me down by one saying “everyone will think she is a boy” and two “she’ll be out of that in a day.” Sizing, is a another puzzler, how am I supposed to know what size she will be after week one?? I am being led by the sizing gurus at Gap.
Names, well that’s a fun game with your best friend and D, he is Brazilian and the names that he likes would be better off in an overpriced dogs home. The names I like apparently will mean our daughter will be bullied at school, believe me I’m a teacher and if there’s one thing I know the name I come up with will be no-where near some names I hear screamed around the corridors these days. Anyway I don’t understand what is wrong with Maddox, Star or Strawberry (believe me; the last one was simply spoken out loud for effect.) But everyone says you’ll know when you see her, of course these statements are coming from friends that have no hurry to get up the duff or ever been in a situation where this has actually happened.
I officially feel like one of those bloaters we all judge on TV, that’s me, I’m gaining weight like its going out of fashion and because I want you to continue reading my blogs won’t go into detail about what I have taken to not wearing due to my ever growing waistline. But do not worry ladies, because there is a light at the end of that ever darkening, unknowing tunnel...the massages that D has been so lovingly doing, the minute I get the itch I hunt him down with my trusty oil and ask with that look in my eye for a massage, which he executes with such love in his eyes as the women carrying his child relaxes and begins to snore.
I’m off to run a bath and run some straightners through my mat that lies on top of my head.
Don’t forget to read more, have your questions answered or find out what other things I have to offer visit my website: www.yumumm.com
Love,
Emele
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