Parent smacking someone else’s child Post Reply

[Playdate Disaster]

I just wanted to thank you all for your helpful replies, which I shared with A’s mum. I don’t feel critical of anyone commenting, whether they have children or not - just thank you all for sharing your perspectives. I don’t know why I hadn’t equated it with B’s father hitting me or another adult, but that particularly struck a chord.

[Anna2007]

I would have told the parents of the smacked child about what happened.

[piper_halliwell]

I don’t have children but I’m a particular fan of crime dramas and that is an assault. Gentle parenting or not, nobody has the right to hit someone else (much less a child!!!) unless it’s a case of self defence or defence of others which, in this case, it was none of the above. Totally agree that if he feels alright assaulting others people’s kids he is probably enjoying a far greater power behind close doors. Someone has to report him to the police if what the OP says happened really happened. I wasn’t there and I’m not judging anyone just giving my uneducated opinion. If I was in any way involved I would absolutely file a report with the police. Good luck!

[Cateo]

Safeguarding is a duty on every responsible adult. OP, please report this. Either to the police, the school, or directly to the local authority as they should have a Safeguarding hotline.
I think people are going a lot of thought to managing the adults' feelings and relationships in this situation but it's the children who should be centred.

1. The wife of the man who assaulted the child has covered for him and lied by omission. She might be doing this for self preservation or other understandable reason but please be clear, she's not going to protect the injured kids here.
2. The child of the man who assaulted the child said 'it's normal' This is not a one-off.
3. The three children were all very upset and the mother didn't intervene - so the children had to comfort each other?

This man needs removing from the family. I know this is horrible and people want to think about the least harmful outcome for the child and family as a whole. Loss of stability, opportunity, so many things that you would not want to deprived anyone of. But the only way not to take action is to ignore the voices of the children. Including yours OP. They disclosed to you, to take responsibility for a situation they cannot address due to their age. I would be relieved my child could do that as it's not always the case. That's a good relationship. Please show them it's the right thing to do. Don't spend any more time advising A's mum or hoping B's mum will see sense. Your child witnessed something that is harmful just in the witnessing of it. That's a safeguarding issue in itself.

Also. He's not only doing this. This will be the tip of an iceberg. You don't want to be the villain here, I sense. But you will be, if you are complicit, too. The shame is on him, assaulting a child.

You can insist on anonymity if you contact safeguarding at the council.

Best of luck to you - it's a horrible thing he has done but I believe you can make something better out of this.