Postby rachelko24 » Sat Apr 14, 2012 10:22 am
Hoping to get any input on our current situation with our 3 year old boy.
Our family has gone through a great deal of moving and life changes in the past 6 months in preparation for this move to London from America. And I think it has been too much for our son based on recent behavior.
We received word of my husband's job transfer last August, began selling all of our stuff immediately (we lived in NYC area), moved to Chicago first for 3 months while husband's team transitioned, then on to Kensington,London Jan. 1, into corporate temp. housing, and finally now into our permanent home in Southfields where we will be living for at least 5 years, possibly permanent.
The first two portions of moving, our son did great. He may have believed it was just a vacation, and a long hotel stay. First leg in London, still fine...no problems.
But towards the end when my mother came to stay with us a bit to help with the move, and preparing to move again...my little guy has turned into a jumble of nerves. Crying all of the time if we mentioned we were going to the Childminder he formerly LOVED in Kensington. Constantly worrying and wanting to hear reassurances that the babysitter wasn't coming right away...'later, later' he would say. Wanting mommy to stay with him all of the time (broke my heart when he would have meltdowns as I had to run out to meet deliveries at the new flat).
Along with this behavior he's also begun acting up, and getting into mischief more frequently.
This all from a child who had (in stable times) characteristically been super confident, happy, and never fretting when he was watched by others.
On paper, I know that it all absolutely makes sense and that these behaviors are completely normal given that his world has been turned upside down so much in such a short amount of time.
First steps we've tried are to just be there for him, begin setting in a good daily routine again, get a lot of mommy one-on-one time, and signing him up for just a couple of kid activities. Mostly mommy and me types where I'm somehow involved. We've postponed preschool until September, in an effort to build him up a bit first, and get him feeling secure again.
I would just sooo appreciate any input from other moms. Sometimes I can't tell if certain efforts are making his worries worse or better. Just trudge on through and act like all is normal, acknowledge his feelings with extra love and attention...a balance of both?
Any other moms that have put this age through a life change...does the phase pass? Or shall I begin investing in traumatic therapy sessions now? (kidding on that...oh the humor helps sometimes.)
Thanks so much for any advice.
Rachel