My toddler won't settle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Post Reply

[bumpontheway]

OMG my 23 month old has decided sleep is'nt for him!!!!!!!

So he has always slept 6.45pm until 8/8.30am and 2 hours at lunch from 12-2pm. He has been amazing but suddenly he has changed overnight!

My son now has other ideas and it is driving me nuts!!!! I can' think of anything that has changed apart from he is getting older and doesn't need quite as much sleep as he was getting. So last night I put him to bed at 7pm......same routine as norma;l bath, 2 books, milk, chat about the day and cuddle in arms (couple of mins) and then bed with his comforter and dummy (yes thats another battle for another day)-he was still up at 9.50pm last night at which point he fell asleep (I caved on a bottle of water-bad I know). He woke at 8.10am

So today I only gave him an 1.15 mins sleep at lunch time as opposed to his normal 2 hours, he had a busy time at nursery and looked shattered when I collected him at 5.45pm.
Again same routine as last night and he is still awake now but a bit quieter after screaming the house down for around 30 minutes, he is talking as I type and occasionally calling out 'mummy'.

What is going on??????? Someone please help, I loved having the evenings to myself. I am a stay at home Mum and enjoy the 'me' time at the end of the day.

[bumpontheway]

Sorry just to add when I go up every 20 mins or whatever to tell him in a calm but tired voice that it is sleeptime his eyes are completely glazed but he is just fighting it.

[MGMidget]

Possible illness (eg sore throat or ear infection)?

[Helgibbs]

Hi

What is his daily routine? You say you are a stay at home mum, but then mentioned nursery? When does he go there?

There is a chance he may not need an afternoon sleep at all if he is going to sleep so late at night.

Does he have his last molars coming through?

Helen
x

[sparkletiger]

How long has he been unsettled? Could be loads of reasons. Teeth, illness, too much day time sleep, or just needs his mummy. Why is water caving? I'm confused? You want him to continue to see bed as a safe and good place so go to him and reassure him if he calls. They all go through stages. He might worried about where you are suddenly when he can't see you. If he calls and you don't come he's likely to feel more worried. Sometimes they need us more at night and tho this can be frustrating, I know, that's being a mummy. Just keep going in and being calm and reassuring and hopefully it'll pass/you'll work out what he needs. Good luck

btw he's been quite an amazing sleeper til now, wow 14 hours a night and a good nap! That's amazing

[BalhamMumWorkingFT]

Ah, Toddlers. I love them and loathe them all in the same minute... How can calm babies turn into crazy toddlers and then the most polite pre-schoolers. Well, it's life. But that doesn't help when you are tired and struggling to figure them out!

One thing toddlers really struggle with is learning to be independent. They need more security from parents than ever before but then they want to do everything themselves. This usually manifests in them expressing their "own ideas" about bedtime, clothing, playing, etc... My little girl didn't cave to even dressing (in ANYTHING) without a tantrum until just recently and she's nearly 4. Ugh.

I'd follow the previous posters advice and do a quick sanity check with what I call pain points: 1. Illness: fever? runny nose? 2. Teething: are they all in there? 3. Changing of routine or environment: new nursery, new sibling? --- These are all going to cause upset with normality and it's not fair to judge or get frantic about it if any one is present. Just do your best to stick with the routine and be as accommodating as possible within reason (for example, water in a bottle at night, dummies, etc...)

If all seems well, I'd look for some clues how he would like bedtime to go, such as, maybe he wants 3 stories or to chose his stories.. Little things you can get him to control without controlling bedtime are sometimes quick wins and make the whole process less stressful. Bedtime = calm and when things go crazy, no one is calm and bedtime goes pear shaped. BTW, good easy bedtime in my house happens about twice a week. Other than that, I just do my best. (2 kids, 15months apart, now wanting to sleep in the SAME bed... fun)

As you are, keep consistency in there. If he is really worried about you, I used to talk about what I am doing when my son goes to bed.... "I am going to say goodnight to you after this story, then do all that pesky laundry you made this week. I need you to go to sleep so we can have fun tomorrow. Close your eyes, dream good dreams, and I'll come give you more kisses in 5 minutes" Knowing what I am doing for some reason helped him understand that I wasn't leaving him. He was usually asleep after a couple checks... but it was more playing problems than screaming problems which is a hell of alot better for the stress levels.

Anyway, good luck. It is so not fun when your tired, they're tired, and everyone is out of sorts.

[mummynanny]

If you haven't changed anything in his routine at all than it will just be a phase and he will go back to normal.
We had exactly same problem with our daughter of similar age. I always blame her teething. We had couple of evenings where I had to go and lie down with her... thinking that this would never stop and we were starting a bad habit but in few nights she went back to normal.
I would say that he will also go back to normal soon... He might be teething, or coming down with something... Toddlers are constantly changing... Our little one at the moment decided that she won't eat her usual meals. Today (after about 5 loooong days) she finally ate her lunch. And I have noticed a new tooth...

Good luck.

[bumpontheway]

Ladies thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful replies.

It made me have a good think about everything and suddenly something did dawn on me to which I will explain in minute.

So last night wasn't as bad as the night before he eventually fell asleep with a bottle of water at 8.30pm.

Today when he stirred as 7.20am I actually got him up whereas normally he stirs for a few minutes and then goes back off to sleep. I only gave him an hour at lunchtime from 12-1pm and then got him up, he was very tired and wanted to continue sleeping because he was also on catch up from night before- I felt like a mean Mummy.

Tonight he went to sleep at 7.15pm no tears, no stirring just flat out. I also realized when thinking about recent changes to his day and his Dad has been away all week for work and I think maybe he has picked up on this, although it's normally me that tends to him he still usually sees him a couple of evenings a week when he wfh. So maybe it was that (can't believe I didn't think of it and he also travels very little).

I am going to continue with todays routine for a few more days and then if it all seems okay I will see if my son would like an extra 30 mins in bed in the morning or possibly at lunchtime and see if this doesn't throw him.

Fingers crossed this will work, thank you again for your replies it really got me looking outside of what I was thinking about.

The nursery is just 1 morning a week for 3 hours and he has been doing it for a while, no illness's I don't think as he is happy in himself in the day. Books he always chooses and some nights he has an extra one.The teeth is a good one if my little monkey would just let me have a look!!!!

Have a good weekend xxx

[Almaceti]

Is his bedroom completely dark? he may notice that it is still bright outside when he goes to bed...
also I do think that 6.45/7pm is very early for bed time, mine have always gone to bed around 7.30/8pm

[bumpontheway]

Yes very dark. The funny thing is, is that time used to be fine and he would go straight to sleep but I have had the reality check this week that it needs to be a bit later around 7.15pm ish.

[AbbevilleMummy]

I had a similar thing a few weeks ago. She is in a bed now and so she was getting up and coming downstairs every 10 mins from 7pm to 9pm, it was a nightmare!

I finally had to admit that she's growing up and so now no longer needs so much sleep. So I've binned her lunchtime nap which is killing me as I used to get so much done in those 2 hours and she can be a naughty little madam by late afternoon. I've also pushed her bedtime back to 7.30/8pm.

Although this does now mean that I have no time to myself during the day and my child-free evenings are shorter, she does sleep solidly from 8pm to 7am with no waking.

[AbbevilleMummy]

Oh, forgot to add, I also now make sure that I completely wear her out in the afternoons. I'm relentless, playdates, parks, even running laps in the living room!!