Nanny might be pregnant - can I ask? Post Reply

[tooposhtopush]

Ok - this is a nightmare!

I think my nanny might be pregnant.

She is disappearing to the loo at frequent intervals (in the morning ) and is looking, how can I put this delicately, much fatter than she used to. She has a long term boyfriend, they live together but are not engaged. She's been with us for a few years and we really like her. Can I ask her? Am I allowed to as her employer? And if she is pregnant what are her rights?

I can just tell this is going to be a nightmare

TPTP

[moops]

Hello

I just found this website for you, I think it would be helpful

http://www.abritishnanny.co.uk/maternit ... gnant.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

I don't think you can't ask if she is pregnant but I probably wouldn't incase she isn't!

From what I read on the website they don't have to inform you of their pregnancy until they feel it is safe to do so although most Nannies do tell the family so they are prepared and also because of certain childhood illnesses that could be extremely dangerous to a woman in the early stages of pregnancy, or they may need time off for appointments or because of sickness.

Hope it isn't the nightmare you are imagining!

[sja38]

Her rights are those of an employeee i.s. she is entitled to maternity pay (statutory) and maternity leave. Don't worry though the government will reimburse you her maternity pay although you do, by law, have to keep her job open for her to return (although this doesn't include allowing her to return to work with her child as this would be an amendment to her contract terms).

With regards to asking, you can always make a joke of it and ask her in a fun way.

[Stigi]

I would ask her in a very round about away (i.e. maybe as a conversation starter ask her is she is planning on having children) as opposed to straight out because if she isn't pregnant and has just put on a few pounds then she is going to be mortified

Good luck! make sure you post the outcome

[tooposhtopush]

Thanks for the advice everyone.

I think I'm being a bit weird about this and getting it out of all proportion.

Nanny caught me staring at her tummy yesterday, I was trying to work out if it had got bigger. I had to think up something on the spot, it was THAT obvious that I was staring, and all I could think of was "I like your top" but it was her work top that she wears every day and I could see she was thinking whether or not I was actually being rude!

I'm going to go and lie down and forgot about it.

TPTP

[tooposhtopush]

Thanks for all the suggestions. I think I need to keep it all in perspective, just very worried if we lose her!

TPTP

[Megberry]

I'm a nanny in Clapham,
and my best friend is a nanny too, and she's pregnant!

(don't worry, it's not your nanny, my friend is in Holland)

She told the family after 3 months, just to be sure everything's OK with the baby,
otherwise she'd be risking her job, and she might not even get a baby.
It's always scary the first 3 months.

You should just wait, she'll tell you eventually (I mean, her tummy is going to be obvious at one point)
You will have plenty of time to find a new Nanny, if she's pregnant.
And she might not even want to keep the baby (I don't know anything about her obviously, so I don't know how steady her relationship is, how old she is etc)

I understand that you're scared of losing your Nanny, but don't make her feel bad about it (i'm sure you won't, but I'm just saying this as she probably knows you don't want to lose her, if you've always had a great working relationship)

If I were pregnant, I'd tell the family after 3 months. (I'm not pregnant by the way haha) I would need time to figure out what I wanted etc. (especially if the pregnancy was unplanned)

Hope this is helpful and good luck!

[Megberry]

you're not selfish, as she's a big part of your family life,
and if she is pregnant, it will affect you a lot as well...

Just understand that she'll tell you when she feels the time is right,
and don't try and get it out of her.
I wouldn't ask if I'm being totally honest, she probably needs time,
and let you know when she's comfortable telling...

She might not be pregnant! Still a possibility!

[nappyvalleynannies]

Hi,

I run Nappy Valley Nannies (nanny agency) and prior to running the agency i was a nanny! I told my boss i was pregnant at 7 weeks as i thought i started showing signs of a miscarriage! My boss was off on Maternity leave herself and so we were spending so much time together i thought i would rather her know and therefor understand when i had to go to the hospital etc! Fortunately i was fine but i was glad i had told her from early on!!

I would try and ask your nanny how things are going with her boyfriend and see if she opens up a bit more!

Everyone is so different and some people do like to keep it very private but for me it made life easier being able to chat to my boss!!

But when all said and done you will have plenty of time to find a new nanny if she is and the goverment will pay her Stat Mat pay so you can get someone else in without thinking you have to pay 2 salaries!!

[Megberry]

I was just wondering if you found out if she was pregnant after all?

[swlondonmum]

I am a nanny and had a baby in May last year. I actually told my employers when i was about 8 weeks pregnant as i was very sick with it.
Nannys get the same as everyone else, they have to tell you after 12 weeks and they get maternity pay. 6 weeks at 90% of salary and then the government maternity pay ,that is provided you pay her tax and national Insurance and everything is above board if you pay cash in hand then you don't have to pay maternity. You are classed as a small employer though so you get all of the pay back that you pay out to her.
Its your decision whether or not to re employ her and you do have to keep her job open provided its the same as before ie : without her child coming to work with her.

As to finding out i wouldn't directly come out and ask but if she keeps popping to loo etc and looks abit green ask her if shes ok as you've noticed recently shes been under the weather. She will tell you eventually and you'll have loads of time to replace her, i worked till about 2 weeks before my due date so you should get a few months.

Do keep us posted and let us know if she is.

[tooposhtopush]

Thank you for all your wonderful words of support. She wasn't actually pregnant and I told her over a glass of wine that I had been wondering. She laughed it off and said she thinks she probably just wasn't feeling very well!

TPTP