Honesty required from mums with 2 children Post Reply

[shopper]

just wait until you start debating no 3 ! Lots and lots of fun and amazing family bonds, lots and lots of hard work...but now they outnumber you Good luck in your decisions.

[Lucullus]

I'm a Dad, so this'll only be tangentially helpful. I'm also a governor for a local (Richmond) primary.

Our two girls share a room and can play in the rest of the house. For schooling, I've never thought seriously about paying for it, despite having been to boarding school myself (or because, of course).

If the cost of a school is the key thing stopping you having a second child, then perhaps you should ask yourself about your priorities. If you already have such a comfortable lifestyle, with that level of outside stimulation and (I presume) a good education between the two of you, your children could be educated in a mud hold in the ground and would still do well against any national standards.

Ours are 18 months apart and are super together. I've never regretted our youngest daughter, and I don't think my wife has, either.

(Perhaps a better way to answer your question: can you think of any other forum in the country where you'd seriously get such a un-judgemental hearing for such a question? Really?)

[ckwmum]

I totally understand where the question is coming from. When I was pregnant with my 2nd I was terrified about the practicalities and whether I would ever love another child as much as my first. But it just changes everything when you have a real 2nd child rather than a hypothetical one - your capacity to love above all else just grows.

No matter how tired, overwhelmed etc you feel, you never actually wish your child wasn't around, that's just nature I think.

Financially, it is harder, probably yes if you do opt for private school but also in terms of childcare if you go back to work - you need to cover twice the costs.

There is no right or wrong decision, you'll make whatever you end up doing work for you. Whether you stick with 1 or have 7 more, you'll be happy with what you have I'm sure.

[Teddington_Mum]

My second child was unplanned and the pregnancy was a welcome surprise. Unlike the first one, child 2 had colic = sleepless nights and food allergies so was more demanding and difficult to settle. For the first year I have to be honest, it wasn't easy - certainly not as easy as it was with child 1. We were also worried at how child 1 seemed to "suffer" the arrival of a sibling - a physically demanding one, at that. As they have grown, they have been able to play more together and i'd say for the last 2 years have become inseparable when at home. (8 & 5). Yes, they do fight - as sibling do - but they also play laugh, invent, create and talk so much together. I wouldn't want it any other way.