Surviving a C-section with a toddler Post Reply

[Minnie]

Although the pain recovery from a section the second time round was a bit quicker 12 weeks on and my scar still hasn't healed properly and I still get pain from it. I would of much preferred to of had a normal delivery. Sadly there is a lack or advice and support within the NHS to help prevent tears, instrumentals and episiotomies.

The hardest thing I found about having a section the second time round was my kids coming to visit me and their new baby in the hospital and all I could do was just lie there and not jump up and give them a hug. Even them climbing on the bed was painful. Not fun and nearly resulted in me becoming depressed as I felt like I'd neglected them.

[SFMC]

biscuitbrown - I can't believe they have refused you and you are forced to go private. It sounds like with a previous c-section and traumatic birth you have good cause. Surely an emergency c-section (if it goes down that road) is far riskier and also more expensive.

I will be seeing a consultant at st.george's to discuss my 'options' and after a lot of deliberation, researching and agonising I decided I want a plan c-section (I started to think about it as soon as I found out I was pregnant).

Any advice on how to prepare myself for the appointment?
How much is a private c-section btw? In case it comes to that...

[lanmum]

Hi
I had an emergency c-section (I had pre-eclampsia) with my first after being induced and it all going very wrong. I was offered an elective Caesarian, but I decided I'd try and do have a Vbac birth, mainly because in my mind, being up and out of the horrible postnatal ward potentially in 6 hours (I was in for 6 days the previous time and hated every minute of it) was a massive plus! Also I felt that 6 weeks without driving would impact on my family life too much (getting daughter to nursery etc etc) and in my mind we would get back to normal more quickly, giving my daughter less chance to feel anything negative towards the new baby. It all went brilliantly, he was a big baby and I had some stitches but nothing like the pain of the scar from a c-section, i was just in overnight so minimal time in the ward and was in the park with my daughter the following day! I was really really pleased with having a Vbac and would recommend it!
Good luck with your choice and I hope all goes well x

[Bubs]

I had a crash section with my first, recovery was very painful - took wekks, scar re-opened, had a hard little ball of a belly for ages.

I had an elective with my second, and I was terrified at how I'd manage ...... in fact, I barely felt a thing second time round. I was up and at it just a few days after (I did try to take it easy, so as not to cause too much stress on the scar) but really, I barely noticed it. And it was pretty flat too (I'm sure the midiwfe squished it down ). Honestly. I was SO pleased, as it had been my biggest fear (especially as we had a lot more stairs in home than at the time of the first birth).

I actually wish I'd had a VBAC now though, but that's just me doing my maternal guilt / second-guessing nonsense, and nothing at all to do with recovery.

[EllaBarnes]

Hello,

If you are very keen to have a natural birth and would like someone to hold your hand in making your decision, I'd highly recommend the birth buddy scheme called Tell Me a Good Birth Story that was been set up by my antenatal yoga teacher, who is also a doula. She does great work in helping women achieve the kind of births they want. You can find out more on her website at http://tellmeagoodbirthstory.com or for more stories check out the blog at http://tellmeagoodbirthstory.blogspot.co.uk/ where you can read the real-life experiences of women who have had VBACs. The birth buddy scheme will match you with someone locally who has been in the same situation as you, and you can email, chat on the phone or meet up - it's an amazing way to get support and the whole concept puts a brilliantly positive spin on birth, which you don't often get from the NHS!

Good luck with your decision, and your birth, and for getting your head around having two little ones. As someone else said, going from one to two doesn't seem quite as bad as you fear, since you've already made the big transition. That said, if you don't have family nearby to help and can afford a bit of extra help, go for it! 8 months in, I have just got an amazing girl to come and help from 5-7pm and it's a life-saver. It's supposed to be a short-term thing... we'll see!

Wishing you all the best!

[clc81]

I went through exactly the same decision last year with my second. My first was an emergency c-section and I didn't want to go through that again. I was also worried that I wouldn't be able to pick up my 2 year old for a couple of months if I had a c-section again.

I opted for VBAC and spent a lot of time discussing with the consultant to ensure that I minimised the risk of a second emergency c-section. I found her support and the support of a midwife team who understood my wishes was really great. I did have a VBAC however it was a really long labour 27 hours and after pushing for 2 hours, I ended up having an episiotomy. I have to say that I lost more blood than with a c-section and the recovery time was almost the same. While I am happy with the decision I made, I think a planned c-section would have been equally good.

[headshrinker]

I had 2 EMCS deliveries. Recovery was fine and I coped pretty well with looking after the other one (although she was 3 so probably easier). Just make sure you have people around to help out in the first couple of weeks.

The best thing about the planned option (as others have said) is being able to organise childcare properly. Mine was all a bit improvised... Would have loved a planned C-section but they changed the guidelines just after I had no. 2! Gutted. FYI VBAC much more likely to go well if you really want to do it. Research shows that mothers that are motivated to do it (some of them really want to!) have a significantly better chance of succeeding.