Advice with private primary schools Post Reply

[Edge of Valley]

My dd just turned 3 and starts reception in 2014. I started to look for private schools and am horrified that many have closed registration a long time ago. I seriously didn't realise it was THIS competitive for private schools simply because I live on the edge of the valley and nobody talks about private education. Everybody I know sends their child to a local state school. Simply there isn't a private school nearby.

At last though, my dh and I managed to come up with a list of potential schools that we would like to send her.

Alleyns, JAPs, Newton prep, Thomas's, Streatham & Clapham High School.

My first question is the timeline for assessment and acceptance, that depending on school it varies. A school expects an acceptance/payment of the deposit before the end of Nov, where as others start assessment in December. Do you bite the bullet and pay deposit just in case it does not work out with others? Is there a clever strategy to work around this?

My next question is tutoring. I read some children are intensively tutored to get into these schools. Is this the norm?

Although I am not worried about the assessment, I know some schools may have a preference over certain types. My dd is an extrovert curious active bushy tailed, occasionally hyper. Great with phonics/numbers, reads few words, learning to write her name, loves art projects, ticks all the boxes for EYFS. Knows her Ps and Qs but just NOT POSH (nor blond blue eyed)! Should we be reconsidering my choices of schools? I don't want her to feel out of place.

Any advice appreciated!

[Pud1]

Please don't tutor a 3 year old

[Edge of Valley]

I was not going to. I am not keen on getting in a school beyond her natural ability.

[CommonMum]

As far as I know the only schools that have selection for reception parents is Thomas's and you'll already know if you're a Thomas's parent.

If you're really not sure there is a simple test you can perform to check.

1) Look outside, do you have a new 4X4 parked outside?
2) Look in the mirror, are you blonde and thin?
3) Look at your children, are they the annoying/confident/assertive/pushy (delete as appropriate)
4) Look at your calendar: does it have the weekends marked out with "staying in country"

I am being cheeky, and I hope Thomas's parents take it in jest, but if that list fills you with horror versus you thinking "that's ok, some people live like that" then you'll know if you want to go to Thomas's.

The others are more about getting names down on a list as soon as possible.

For the 11 plus all the schools do selective entry and EVERYONE tutors their kids.

The common refrain seems to be "Little Johnny isn't really being tutored but he loves the teacher so much its more about having fun".

Seriously, I heard that one once!

I am slightly ahead of you in the system and this seems to be the overview:

1) Private reception places, don't bother tutoring, get on the lists.
2) Private 11 plus. Start tutoring at the start of year 5 and tutor like you've never been tutored before.
3) Don't listen to anyone in year 5 who kids are hoping to go private who says they're not being tutored. Unless they are at the top end (and there is only one kid per SCHOOL in this category) or at the bottom end special needs) then they're probably lying.

Hope this helps.

[tooposhtopush]

Re. waiting lists and payments

Get on the lists and pay the money asap.

There isn't really a clever way around it.

The schools know that it's an easy touch to make £40 and some will even announce their places before other, more popular schools, to force you to take a place and pay a deposit. Two weeks later you may have changed your mind but they still keep a terms fees.

[Edge of Valley]

Many thanks for your comments.

>Petal
Funny you mention, I hear some schools accept registration for an unborn child. It's rather strange because an unborn child does not legally "exists" until it pops, and the transaction based on non-existent person is surely odd...

Some of my local state schools are good, but we are just outside the catchment area. It's a gamble with very bad odd.

> CommonMum
I will be ticking for non applicable for 1,2, 4 on your checklist. lol
However my dd totally ticks for 3. Hmm. I wonder where she got that from.
Thank you for your practical advice. I did my 11+ equivalent as a child in another country, and I seriously hated the pressure. This is why I am more inclined to choose a school where my dd does not have to sit 11+. I want her to enjoy her childhood at that age. Also moving from State to Independent will be more challenge at 11, where as Independent prep to Independent secondary might be slightly easier. This is just my guess.

>Tooposhtopush
Supply and demand is the name of the game, name your price to open a place, I guess. These schools need to make a profit somehow to maintain their standard. I was reading a list of school uniforms and wondering how much more do they add to the cost!

[DianaM]

just a suggestion but I would seriously compare these London schools with several schools outside London - quite a lot of us have now made the decision to either stay in London and send the kids out or move out full stop... the difference in environment is eye-watering and the kids can learn whilst having fun! Not too mention all that green stuff they can play on!!

[Medway]

I increasingly agree with the 'move away' option although I NEVER thought I would leave SW London where I have been happy for the last 20 years. Things have been creeping up on me - the ridiculous school situation, the competition for space EVERYWHERE - at school, on the common, on the tube, on the road. My quality of life is not as good as it should be - hubby and I looked at each other last weekend and said 'What ARE we doing?" Both working long hours, stressful jobs to pay school fees and sitters because we feel our state option is just not good enough. An epiphany. But where to go? Seriously. Hubby needs to be able to commute to the city in a reasonable time. We will keep our house for the time being and rent until we are sure

Anyone made the move successfully? Where did you go?

[Bee@lifeafterlondon]

Very kindly Annabel has just let me know about your question and I hope we might be able to help. I think this is a dilemma a lot of people face and schools are one of the key reasons that drive people to move to new areas.

Last year I set up a website called lifeafterlondon.com because as a local SW18 Mum I know so many people thinking about moving out and it's such a daunting step. I wanted the website to enable people to connect with others who've done it and locals all around the UK so you can get a real feel for an area and help before making the move. It's really easy to use (I hope!) and you can post a question. My job is making sure our amazing County Contacts answer you. It's free to use and lots of people have been finding it really handy. I hope we might be able to help you out too!

Also, as far as journey times are concerned there is a great website called www.commutefrom.co.uk. You plug in the details of where you need to get to in how long and it comes up with the stations within your time/area. It's fab and really helpful.

Good luck with the decisions

[supergirl]

Hi there

you should also consider The Roche school. It is a lovely family feel private school in Wandsworth. the school is located in a non-posh area at the edge of putney. the school is small (2 forms per year), the children are happy. The school is quite academic but in a very subtle way which allows children to be children. If you look at their leavers' list, it is very similar to Finton.
All the parents there are down to earth, normal people. A breath of fresh air!

Good luck. As other have said, the situation in London is ridiculous. In our case we have decided to stay because we are both non english and we want to raise our kids in a cosmopolitan international city, easy to get in and out of and the commute for both of us is then easier. So we pay the price: small houses and gardens at a fortune for being able to walk to CJ!

[DianaM]

Really difficult one as when you are in SW you feel like there is no other life outside! I was in London for 17 years before we moved out but we found increasingly we were being drawn out for one reason and another....if you find the right area the local schools are fantastic and there is a really good selection of private schools...we have come south west because the commute is good and the schools are some of the best in the country...it is expensive but if you are in the catchment of the best schools then you could be saving a fortune on private school fees....have a look at the Farnham/Haslemere or Petersfield area, really beautiful countryside, good access to London and so much to do in the local area - we love it and if you know where to go there is a real sense of community which we didn't have in London. Whether you like it or not there is also half of SW London who have made a similar decision prior hence you are in the company of like minded individuals which is good and bad I suppose!!

[Bubs]

For the littlies, it's just about getting names down early, registering and paying deposits, and if needs be phoning the school rather a lot to ensure they know you're very interested and not just popping your name everywhere and hoping for the best. No tutoring required at 4, definitely not. Some schools look for a type that will 'fit in' to their school - that's their problem, not yours.

Look around all the schools you've listed, go to open days. I think a huge amount is the feel you get from a school, it makes a difficult decision on paper SO much easier in practice.

For 7+ and 11+ entry, tutoring is required - especially if going from state to private.

xx

[Bbkl]

Hi,
I can't comment on all the schools you are looking at, but we chose one on your list (and turned down some of the others) for our daughters.

I think it really does come down to what 'fits' you as a family. They are all great schools, but they won't all be a great school for you. The schools you've named cover a pretty big geographical area, so review the journey to each one carefully, bearing in mind you'll be doing it with a four year old, every day, in the rush hour, whatever the weather. Location matters more than you think in terms of social life/friends/parties, especially as they grow up and pick their own!

We are not a British family and we wanted a diverse environment - some of the schools we saw didn't have that. You also can't beat a visit - websites only tell you so much. I knew as soon as I walked in the door of the school that had been my favourite up to then that it was wrong for us. Interestingly my children also didn't like it 'because noone there was smiling, mum.'.

You have some coeds and some girls' schools there. We've done both and they each have plusses and minuses - again you'll need to see what suits you and your child best.

My youngest also starts reception in 2014. Some people I've met are super organised about schools and some not so much - from speaking to parents who have been through this process in the past couple of years, there's still time to get yourself sorted out.

[JoY]

Hi

All the schools you mention are good schools - everyone I know with children at them are happy and have chosen them for different reasons. From my little experience (eldest is in Reception), it seems like they are all good schools and fit different people/ families.

Our children are at The White House in Balham. It is a small school, challenging but not pushy, all the children know each other, they get into a good range of senior schools at 11+ and they do sports every day. It feels more like a village school and really suits us. Would really recommend a look at it if you haven't come across it.

[Edge of Valley]

Hi, thank you so much again for your inputs. Very much appreciated!

>Diana M, Medway, Bee,
Sadly moving is not an option - my DH need to be on the tube line, or be relatively close to central London for job reasons. My DH loves spending time with DD in the mornings and being far from work means that he will never get to see her during the weekday. You never know though, we might have an awakening from a hectic London lifestyle, and think to ourselves "Oh I remember the Nappy Valley mums advised me for a move...I should have listened"

>Supergirl
I am pretty much on the same boat as you. There is certainly a price to pay, but the cultural diversity is important for us. Putney is a little far from us, we don't know the area well but The Roche school sounds like a lovely place to study. I hope I can find a similar school.

>Bubs
Thank you for a practical advice. For our second one, we are doing exactly that! On the phone and being on the list. I learned my lesson for sure from our current experience! You are quite right about "being the type" is not our problem. I guess if we don't fit, we don't fit! As simple as that. I would not want my DD pretend to be a what she is not.

>Bbkl
Great advice, thank you. I understand what you mean by being a right fit. Already we have screened out some of the schools being "not quite right for us" from looking at the prospectus and what I hear from people. I am also looking for a reasonable diversity although a skew is somewhat expected in some schools. I was attracted the "name value" factor initially but I realised that my DD's happiness is ultimately the most important reason for choosing a school!

>JoY
Funny you mention this school, I have been reading the Ofsted report and it is reviewed well. My DD goes to a small nursery so somewhere with a close knit community feel sounds great. Would you like to tell us a little bit about it? I will certainly give them a call!