If you could offer me one piece of advice, what would it be? Post Reply

[Tinker-Bell]

All children are different. One thing that is handy is getting them into a habit of sleeping in noisy places. My sisters baby needs complete silence which can be hard. I got mine use to a little noise in their afternoon naps as I used to keep the tele on. Just be yourself and enjoy your baby because its so true they grow up fast.

[nvmof3]

You can never have too many muzzies (or muslin squares or whatever you want to call them)

[maxey]

Do not put your baby down in a drawer temporarily then forget about where you have put it, and close the drawer.
We did that with our first and after a frantic search found her happily asleep.
Next week the cat laid all her kittens in the same place!

[maxey]

Tell your mother-in-law to keep her nose out of the baby rearing!

[lanmum]

It takes 3 days to change anything successfully, so hang in there and don't give up on day 2!

[candjame]

However hard it may seem - please, please remember to not compare your baby, toddler, child and eventually teenager to anyone else. We' re all different and this is sometimes the hardest thing to remember when our baby/toddler isen't meeting all those developmental milestones of our friends/neighbours' children. I remember worrying for weeks (unnecessarily as it turned out) when a friend casually said "doesn't have a lot of words, does she?" (she's 17 now and never stops chattering!).

[BabyMagic]

I don't agree with the seperate rooms comment although I do agree with the no-co-sleeping advice. Evidence based medicine, best practice and many non-biased reports (pubmed is agood source) all conclude that sleeping in the same room as your newborn (unless someone else is there to do it e.g. Maternity nurse) is a safer option for your child and reduces the risk of cot death. It also means less of n ordeal for you in terms of night feeds as you don't have to get up, leave the room etc etc. and have your partner with you (theoretically) to support you (also theoretically).

Advice...parent how you feel, 90% gut, 10% books!

[snowyhunter]

Get a tumble dryer!

[biscuitbrown]

Just treasure those short few weeks when they sleep like a little frog on you, remember everything, take hundreds of photos and videos, don't sweat the small stuff and don't listen to your parents or in laws. It goes so quickly and is so, so precious. Good luck! x

[firsttimerSW11]

Hi everyone, I am the original poster and now that I have finally become a mum I am finding all the advice invaluable. Maybe you can give me a little further help...
If my baby is fed, changed, burbed, warm but is crying constantly, won't settle in the Moses basket (I am not a fan of co sleeping so that potemtial suggestion/solution won't help unfortunately) but is even crying in my arms, what on earth am I doing wrong and how can I get him to stop crying? I don't know what to do, even the fact that he won't stop crying in my arms leads me to believe I am failing miserably at this motherhood thing. What did you do it's a new born when they were clean, fed etc but still didnt stop crying?
Thank you so much for any advise in advance..or is this normal?

[AbbevilleMummy]

You're not failing!!!!

How old is your baby? It could be colic/reflux/anything.

Go to your GP and health visitor and keep saying that there's something not quite right until someone listens and helps you. It will probably have an easy fix and the worst thing you can do is stay at home fretting that its something to do with your inabilities.

You'll be fine, we've all been there, sat up in the middle of the night sobbing over an inconsolable baby not knowing what the hell to do.

Xx

[firsttimerSW11]

He is 2.5 weeks old. The HV told me it's normal. Not massively helpful, I thought.

[Writerlady]

Hi there, i feel for you. I can guarantee that every mum on this site has experienced what you are going through right now. You are NOT failing! It's normal. I promise! When that happened to us, we found that walking up and down the stairs over and over again with the baby helped, or even just walking around and around and around the room!! They often like gentle motion. It's exhausting i know, but keep going. You're doing fine!!

[2009Kat]

Agh...those early days....so wonderful but so horrendous. Hang on in there mama - I am sure you are doing a fab job!

Baby no1 - i had him in the sling and sat bouncing on my birthing/exercise ball. And then fed him again. He liked being cuddled in arms.
Baby no2 - I just fed and fed and fed. He was a little and often man. He was also a screamer. He liked being cuddled upright. Bizarrely parking pram by washing machine on spin cycle used to make him sleep!?

Other friends have sworn by: white noise (turning hair dryer on), walks in pram, car, swaddling, not swaddling, co-sleeping, routines, singing Kum by ya whilst swaying wildly - you name it someone's done it!

I hope that you find something that works for you and your baby but equally trust your mummy instinct if you think something isn't quite right.

Xxx

[balhamite]

Hello and congratulations!

I totally feel for you. Please don't feel like a failure. I remember feeling exactly the same with my first baby. I was totally overwhelmed and not enjoying motherhood at all. My baby was also a cryer and it does really make you doubt yourself especially if you have no clue as to what the matter is. (I never worked it out) The only advise I have is do whatever you can to get through it. Forget about routines etc. feed all the time if it helps, go for endless long walks etc. and trust in the fact that it won't last forever. And also your baby is only a couple of weeks old, they change so much every day that you might find you will have a happy/smiley baby tomorrow.

But most importantly believe on yourself. You sound like a great mum. Having your first baby is the hardest thing on the world. It will get easier. I can report that my very difficult/screaming first baby became such.a happy, content,easy toddler. Whereas my 2nd was an angel baby and she is now.a terror!