Stay in London or move out?? Post Reply

[supergirl]

Shielding our children from drugs (i include as well as drugs, cigarettes and binge drinking), crimes, mugging is of course the best thing we can do for them but unfortunately moving to thr countryside is not going to make a difference. In fact drugs are very easy to find all over the country, even down in brighton on the beach in daylight on a sunny sunday afternoon (beach packed with families)...
The best thing (and for what it worth) is education and information of the risks. London is not worst than other capitals but like every big cities is rich with its diversity and we love it!
(we re not in a seven figure house).

[mum4boys]

This is almost as emotive a topic as the whole school saga?!
We are definite Londoners for life...what child is ever going to turn around in 10-20 years time and hold against you an amazing upbringing in London, as opposed to being stuck in some small town with limited opportunities forever?! When we had our first son, who is now 13, my Aunt gave us some good advice : never move your life just for your children as they will grow up and move away as soon as they are old enough. Far better you are a happy parent in the environment which makes you happiest so your children can have the best side of you.
Big gardens and houses are overrated... As soon as the kids are at school, no garden is big enough for their ball games and having a big common close by to walk to is a far easier option. We all have to choose what is best for us and naturally that is something which is different for each one of us...for us that is the community we live in in London and all the fabulous things on our doorstep including a slice of real urbanity to expose our kids to from an early age. Good luck in your decision- in my experience the grass will always appear greener elsewhere?!

[falconmum]

I agree with most mums . London is a FANTASTIC place to bring your kids up . The exposure to the cosmopolitan culture , the people, sights, sounds, smells is amazing and you are not cotton wooling your child .

I have a 5 month old and I am starting to worry about education and schools but wouldnt consider moving.

However, I think it also has to do with the fact that most foreigners would be at home in London than in suburbia or distant towns , whereas the English might prefer to move back to their local towns as memories of their childhood come back !

[womblemama]

I agree with the majority of mums here who would vote for staying in London, and agree with all the reasons wholeheartedly. However, it's worth remembering because this is nappy valley net that people responding will have chosen to stay in London and will obviously think that decision is the best one! Would be good to hear the other side of the story - from people who have moved out and have no regrets but we're unlikely to get that view here. Definitely agree with the last poster -the grass is always greener.

[Bee@lifeafterlondon]

Dear all
I'm a local mum who heard the conversations posted here on a regular basis, everyone has their views, all of which are so valid and more importantly really helpful for those who are considering a move. It's so useful to hear both sides and to hear from people who have gone or havent gone or are somewhere in between!

As a result of listening to the chat for so long I decided to set up a website to give people a place to chat about this very topic. It's called lifeafterlondon.com. If you click on it today you'll see a site almost completed with chat rooms and people who have moved ready to answer questions. We are soon to have the final site completed, (in aboutt 10 days I hope) and if you click on http://www.facebook.com/lifeafterlondon you'll be able to see when we go live!
I'd love to know your thoughts an I'd love to see you all on the forums some time!

[emsken]

we will definitely leave london in due course... so many of my friends have and not one regrets it!!!

[sparkletiger]

I agree with many of the postings on how great London is. On the safety issue income from a village in Scotland, beautiful scenery etc but I feel safer here. I live in Brixton. You don't get that small
Minded crap that you get in small towns. Drug and alcohol misuse is through the roof back home. Of course it's rife here too, we have sex workers nightly (and sometimes) during the day using our communal gardens and sirens blaring a lot but still I feel safer here. It's vibrant and busy and I've never really even hassled from anyone. Hassle all the time from small town people with a chip on their shoulder.

We endlessly toy with moving to Canada. I yearn for a bigger house and clean air. If we do do it I think we'd keep and rent out our place here. Just in case! Good luck

[sparkletiger]

Oh yeah and an Odd observation when I visited my mum in Scotland - the playgrounds never had anyone in them. Everyone's bought a trampoline for their Garden and there seemed not many kids out playing, which has changed win I was a child. Maybe it's the crap swings!

[metoo]

I loved all the pro-London posts (S.Londoner born and bred - I was born in Balham, only home-birthers can say that now!) But obviously this is a self-selecting bias - this site is aimed at those of us who still live in SW London. It might be worth taking a look at the site about life after London.
I have yearned for a larger garden (I'm told the kids ignore the garden after age 11!). I'd also love a bigger house and I want to be within a shortish travel of a good secondary school. My husband and I have batted this topic back and forth for the last 10 years. I went to visit a friend who moved to Ashdown Forest and encountered a barage of justifications from women who had all moved out of London to the wonders of Sussex the edges of Wimbledon seem far enough to me! For us the deciding factor will probably be the pull of the grammar schools in Sutton/Croydon, even though my husband is wincing at the thought of a long/packed/sweaty work commute - for us the debate goes on...

[Raspberry-Sorbet]

We have just done it - on day 4 so will let you know.....

I have lived in London for 16 years and love it and all the things for children - I took my girls to the Hockney exhibition 2 weeks ago and we were always at the aquarium or one of the museums. It was wonderful never driving to the supermarket and picking up what I fancied each day from Dove / Waitrose etc

We have come to another city so I still have pavement to walk along and a bustling city centre to walk around and plenty of prams around but bigger green spaces. There will be more car journeys but not as many as if we were down a country lane.

So far, I definitely like the lack of crime - I leave the pram, scooter, bike unlocked outside the front door as all the neighbours said that's what they do.

We left to be able to have a bigger house - not a big country house, a 4 bed town house that is out of reach for us in SW London but much needed with a growing business & 2 kiddies. I can't tell you that I love it because I don't know yet how it will go. There are definitely pros and cons to both but leaving London doesn't mean one can't visit, it hasn't stopped me booking theatre tickets for something in May in the West End.

I would say, if you do it, choose your location carefully!

[SW9Mummyoftwo]

So we too have been having this debate and finally got round to working out how much it would actually costs to put our two children through private education...ouch! We absolutely want to stay in the area (both having been brought up in the country don't have any inclination to go back!) but we're finding it near on impossible to locate, aside from Honeywell and Belleville, primary and secondary schools we'd want to send our boys to. After spending hours trawling through numerous Ofsted reports can anyone point us in the right direction? Even if a school is awarded an Outstanding mark it certainly doesn't mean it's one we'd like to send the children to based on the specific reasoning for the mark.

We know we need to move into a catchment area but if we're going to make such a decision / investment we'd like some assurance of getting into the schools.

Any guidance would be SO appreciated.

[metoo]

not to change topic (but so obviously am!) to answer Mungomuffit. I was born in the Weir Hospital on Weir Road, there used to be 3 hospitals in the area: The South London - now Tesco, The Weir and St James's - which had our local A&E! How times have changed, makes me feel as old as Methuselah

[amybelle79]

Its a tricky one!

I have a 2 year old and a second due any day now.

Like many people I am a city girl (living in a wonky old house in the middle of nowhere is a terrifying thought for me!) and like many of you I have loved the SW life with baby in tow - its great to walk everywhere, have the common and so many places that are family orientated on my doorstep. I cant imagine anywhere better to be home with small children all day. I think its easy to feel lonely and isolated when you're home with small children so living in this corner of london has been a blessing.

But, like many people we cant afford the house we need and are really concerned about getting the babies in to good school (we cant afford to pay for private). Once number two is a little older I also plan to study and eventually start my own business (a long term plan to effect a career change and get a little something back for myself!). Trying to do this whilst living in london would be almost impossible because of the cost of child care. So, by moving south we would be closer to parents who have kindly offered to help - much more feasible when their journey time from home is 45 mins instead of 2 hours!!

I will only consider locations within a 40mins train journey to waterloo so I hope to maintain links with the Big Smoke and ensure that husband has a maneagable commute in to the city.

It feels like the right thing for us... but its a very complex question! And it will be a very hard move to make

I have to say... I think Annabel should start a 'surrey nappy valley' - I would certainly feel a lot better about moving out of town if I felt that there was a network of wonderful helpful mums ready to help me settle in and figure it all out.

What do you think Annabel? Can we persuade you?!!!

[LdS]

Survey NappyValley! Yes please!

We've decided to take the plunge partially for the reasons already mentioned. it would the make transition so much easier if i had the same virtual network.

[amybelle79]

Shall we start a petition?

Nappy Valley Surrey..... those in favour say 'aye'