sexism comment at work - just returned after maternity leave Post Reply

[daddy72]

TBH returning to work after time off can be very daunting no matter how professional and competent you are at your job. It's quite easy for something well meaning to come across the the wrong way - especially when people are trying very hard not to put it across the wrong way.

Would you feel the same if the project was given to another woman? How would you feel if the clients demands meant that your time off (which I'm presuming you'd be spending with your child) was disrupted?

One of my team returned from maternity recently and trust me it was difficult - 10 months away from work made it impossible for me do to anything but ease her back in while she took back on board all of her clients, not because she's a woman, not because she's a mother and missing her child but purely because the period she was away was a considerable time and it takes time to adjust - this would be the same for a male or female employee who had been away for that amount of time.

Personally in this case I think the reasons given were valid but maybe the delivery of the news not executed well.

[claphamama]

To give you all an update...I decided to direct the email to the head of the department instead of HR stating I wanted to put our conversation in writing in order to resolve the issue and avoid a formal complain. I had a meeting with him and we clarified in details what my role is about and what I will be doing - which was very good. He was - again - very apologetic about the comment made by the other guy. The guy in question has been recently promoted and has been quite arrogant and a bit of a bully to few people around. I am very lucky because the head of my department and the majority of people in my office are actually really nice - that comment doesn't reflect the general attitude of my workplace at all. To reply to some of you...I think I was upset by both - the comment (because I have NEVER showed to be stressed on under pressure, even in extremely tight deadline...so the comment itself was very inappropriate - I am not a different person just because I am a mum) and the feeling of being 'left out' and relegate in a corner because someone has assumed I won't care about my career now that I have a family. I do like my job and I want to progress in my career. I know juggling is hard but I am happy to be back at work and probably more excited and keen to work hard than some of my colleagues (including myself before going on maternity leave!). Thanks for the all the advice and different opinions!

[Suslik]

I would stay well clear of HR. I think it's common to have this 'treatment' after first maternity, the only thing is they definitely should not have been discussing this in front of others!

you'll get a far better response discussing things with your line and head of dept - if you 'complain' to HR, you corner them and they are forced to be defensive.

when i went back to work after DD1, i went 4 days a week. i was told very clearly that i could not lead key projects but could lead smaller ones. also that i should not expect a promotion on a 4-day working basis. i was not happy but i let it go, started on a small project (which grew bigger and was very political so got lots of attention). i did change back to 5 days per week and had a promotion shortly after.

in retrospect, i recommend to everyone not doingpart time but saving up some leave (you get all your days accumulated over the maternity time) and using your leave up 1-2 days per week so you can ease into work.that way you do not createa 'stigma' of part-timer but achieve your 0bjkective of working 4 or 3 day weeks. you can reassess when you run out of leave and if you still feel like it, you can apply for part-time work then.

happy to discuss - PM if you want