If you could offer me one piece of advice, what would it be? Post Reply

[instablonde]

So right indeed.

NEVER WAKE A SLEEPING BABY BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 7&7!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NEVER LISTEN TO A MIDWIFE WHEN THEY SAY FEED EVERY 3 HOURS!!!!!!!!!!!

Your babies brain is a blank canvas and from DAY 1 you help train it.

[supermummy]

If you are planning to breastfeed, train your baby to take a bottle once a day (expresssed if you prefer) from about week 2 - it will give you a much needed break if you have a partner/grandparent who can help with an evening/night feed so you can get a longer block of sleep. It will also avoid bottle aversion.

[NYE31]

Do whatever you feel that is best for your baby & you, don't let bossy NCT teachers or smug NCT groups make you feel bad if you don't have a totally natural labour and shock horror, you express & use a bottle for one or more of the feeds or formula.

Sleep when your baby sleeps, don't become overun with visitors in the first few days & weeks.

Do fill up your freezer & use internet shopping, Waitrose or Ocado are v.good and can deliver nappies, wipes, etc as well.

Enjoy every moment, it's the best thing I have done & I have loved every moment

Good luck x

[Lovingsleep]

I agree with the previous posts regarding gentle sleep training from the beginning. See 'the baby whisperer' for suggestions on this. My boy is now 18 months and only just starting to sleep through. I would have enjoyed the last 18 months more with a bit more sleep, him too probably! With the next one- due in nov- we are going to try and be much stricter.

Also for us the dummy was a lifesaver. And the noise of the hairdryer almost always stopped him crying. Magic!


Good luck!

[emsken]

When it all gets a bit much, get a night nanny in..... A full nights sleep does wonders for your soul!!!

Good luck x

[AbbevilleMummy]

I'm with the poster who said don't take any advice!!

As you can see here, some people swear by bed sharing, others think it will ruin any haunches of sleep and your baby will be in your bed until they're 18!

All babies are different and if I've learned anything from having my 2 it's that something that works for 1 wot necessarily work for the other.

Just spend time getting to know your baby. Soaking up every second with him/her and then trust your instincts to do what works for you both.

Good luck! Xx

[uqbar]

You know that thing about getting the baby into a routine? It's bullshit.

[pie81]

Top tip - if you have any problems breastfeeding, get a lactation consultant in ASAP - don't leave it a week or two. Especially, get your baby checked for tongue tie if they seem to have problems latching. I can recommend someone really good if you need someone.

All the posters above who talk about teaching their baby to self settle from day 1 - does that mean you left your newborn baby to cry themselves to sleep? Because most tiny babies won't go to sleep by themselves (ie without feeding or rocking etc) unless you let them cry for a while. Something I was not willing to do until my baby was a lot older.

[Helgibbs]

Well, my DD is an only child, so I have only one shot at 'getting things right'! I have got through 11 years now by listening to people who want to give advice, and many many do,
.....and then deciding for myself what works for our family.

Try anything
Change what isn't working
And remember
No change is permanent...

Live, Laugh, and Love your baby.
xxxx

[mamabel]

[quote="MrsMak"]My main piece of advice is don't do anything that you're not willing to do every day for the next 6 months. It's not always best to take what may appear to be the easy option because if you do it today, then tomorrow, it soon becomes a habit that can be difficult to break.

For example, if you do not intend to co-sleep with your baby longer-term, don't allow the baby to sleep in your bed at all.


Wow I totally disagree!! Babies change so fast what works one day might not the next. I always thought i was anti co sleeping but my 2nd baby settled so well in those 1st few weeks when we co slept. I gradually weaned it down & he's a ace sleeper (unlike the 1st who I never allowed in the bed)
Take no notice when someone says you're making a rod for your own back - it's the rods that'll keep you upright!!
Tell all potential visitors to bring a home cooked supper rather than a baby gro and agree with those who said try & keep those 1st few weeks as peaceful as possible.
And totally agree with Minnie - never wake a sleeping baby after 7pm!

[marylisramos]

I would be very careful about following "never listen to a midwife when they say feed every three hours"...you might end up starving your newborn and feel like the worst mother ever because you may end up back in the hospital with a baby who has dropped more than 10% of their birthweight and suffering from dehydration.

Every baby is different so all advice needs to be taken flexibly - some babies might feed well and be able to last more than three hours, some babies take a while to learn to feed and may need to feed more frequently. Some babies might be too sleepy to wake up to feed even when they need to, and then there's a danger that they might not have enough energy left to start a feed...

Also remember that if you're not lucky enough to have loads of milk for breastfeeding at the beginning, your breasts will need a frequent stimulation from the baby to get things going...

Sorry this isn't the one-liner you were probably expecting but I guess my one piece of advice would be to keep yourself well informed, read a lot about the first two weeks before the baby is born so that you understand the rationale behind all the helpful advice people give you, and so that you can then adjust depending on the specific needs of your baby.

[dmsmyth]

you have started quite a debate about the best things to do but just to throw in my twopeneth......
if you can take some time to work out what you want and the type of person you are....
if you are a very regimented routine timetabled type of person whose ultimate goal is to get back to having a decent nights sleep as soon as possible then getting your baby into a routine (which is bloody hard work) will suit you but it is something you need to commit to early on, baby secrets by Jo tantum and gina Ford are very good.
if you intend to go back to work full time within 6/9months then you can probably afford to sod the routine and do what you want with your baby, lie in if you want to, sleep when they sleep, go out for lunches etc and let nursery or a childminder sort out their routine later.
Read stuff about the first few months before the baby arrives because you tubing ...how to wind my baby... with a screaming baby in your arms at 3am is not fun.
Definitely read up on techniques for winding your baby.
good luck and enjoy it x

[schoolgatesmum]

Don't believe anyone who tells you their baby is sleeping through the night before six months - they are lying, or at best being economical with the truth!

[Jam Organic]

Hi,

I'm a mum of twins. I would advice you that you never ever listen to others advice. Never ever. You are the mum and enjoy every moment even when it's hard and you are dying of tiredness, every day is rewarding. Every day is different and don't stress yourself with routine, or sleeping separate from baby. I have been sleeping with both of them and I'm still alive. Not sure why people suggest that to others. We have all life for routine school, work etc. Do what you feel is best for you and baby. That's all and enjoy as it goes very quick.

Best of luck

[dilly]

White noise! Download a free app and play when they scream, I've found it a particular lifesaver when they're kicking off in the car or to help settle them to sleep. Mine have both been soothed by some sort of heavy rainfall noise.