There's an interesting blog post from about 5 years ago
She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes by the Sink | Must Be This Tall To Ride
It's very insightful into both sides. Basically as people have said, messy folks don't care about mess so don't understand why you do, as has been amply shown on this thread, they want you to see their point of view.
The insight the guy who wrote the blog above got to was that it's about respect. You don't have to care about the mess, but if you care about your other half you should respect them enough to do something about it.
Only you can know if you are being a bit intolerant of a difference in personality or there is no meeting half way that is respectful of your need for order and more importantly your role as not having to tidy up after another adult.