Partner back smoking after angina attacks, how can I get him to stop? Post Reply

[oat milk latta]

Until 5 years ago my husband was a smoker all of his life. He gave up after experiencing some angina attacks and getting a serious talking to by doctors at hospital when I told them that his father died of a heart attack in his late 60's. 

I am devastated to learn that he back smoking and despite my pleas doesn't seem to care enough about my feelings or our two children to be taking giving up again seriously. I am at a total loss as to how I can persuade him that his behaviour could be catastrophic for us which I am taking very personally and not very well.


The nagging seems to be falling on deaf ears. Has anyone been able to persuade their other half to give up smoking or similar? I am at my wits end and not sure how drastic I might need to go to achieve the result which could help save his life. 

 

[ronangel]

Get some life insurance and funeral plan forms fill in with cover for both of you  and ask him to go over them with you just in case,point out that if one of you should go suddenly it would be hard on the other and to look after the children. Should do the trick! 

[NVG]

Hmm that’s a tricky one. The nagging is patently not working so you need to find another tactic. Could you find something to do or not do that he finds annoying? Maybe complain about his breath when he’s been smoking (smokers’ breath is disgusting), if you wash his clothes then maybe add some highly smelling fabric softener “to disguise the smell” of the smoke. I had a lot of family members who smoked and in my experience there’s no point trying to tell them it’s bad for them - they know that. So many of those family members died well before their time - one at 47, one at 52, another at 65. The last one died of lung cancer and it was the most undignified end I have every seen. Just horrendous. He’s an idiot and you have my sympathy.

[waltzer]

Has he got a best mate that you could ask to step in and explain what it is doing to you and him for that matter? 

[KatherineHepburn]

Does he actually want to quit but is highly addicted? Or is he still enjoying this habit?
Odd question I appreciate but it makes a huge difference as to how you treat it.
If he does actually want to quit but is struggling then send him to a hypnotherapist: https://www.melaniebearne.com/

If he is enjoying this habit and just wants to continue then I agree with ronangel above - get out the life insurance plans and make it very clear what he is doing. 

Good luck.

[Horchata99]

you can lead a horse to water... so difficult. it sounds like your hubby is not quite ready to let go yet. i think the suggestion of hypnotherapy is a good shout, could maybe be helpful to have some motivational interviewing too. good luck.

[Suebe]

He’s crazy to smoke now with that angina warning I did the same and at58 had a heart attack and although under medication Life has. never been the same . Constant anxiety etc Show him this He owes it to you and your children and especially to himself

[Starr]

Admittedly many years ago and in my mid- late 20s until I was a smoker, but the only way for me was Cold Turkey and a real genuine desire to stop. The first week was the hardest.
I really enjoyed cigarettes and had smoked since q.sixth former qnd was heavily addicted.
I really do hope for his sake, yours and the children he sees the light.
Perhaps for him nicotine replacement therapy would really help. Also to be a hermit for a short while and avoid social gatherings with alcohol as this leads to cigarette cravings.
He can do it.
Good luck!

[isaiahlow]

When it comes to getting your partner to quit smoking, especially after something serious like angina attacks, it’s really tough but not impossible. I’d suggest first having an honest conversation with him about how serious his health is, maybe even mentioning how worrying it is for you.