Devastated after my 3rd miscarriage Post Reply

[NYE31]

I've just had my 3rd miscarriage & I'm devastated, I had a scan the week before at 6 weeks & everything was fine but started bleeding on Thurs pm & an emergency scan on Friday am revealed no heartbeat and that I was miscarrying. I should have been almost 8 weeks. I'm about to have my 3rd ERPC & wondering just why it has all gone wrong again & wondering if I will be able to have a 2nd baby.

I had my first miscarriage in 2001, then another in the Summer of 2011 but got pregnant again straight away & had my darling son who is now 13 months old.

I've been told that unless or until you have 3 in a row, I won't be referred for tests but I have also read that the more miscarriages that you have, the higher your chances are of having another plus the older you are, the higher the risk ( I am 38)

Does anyone else have any similar experiences or advice to share? I'd stopped drinking, neither my husband nor I smoke, I'd taken the conception vitamins and done everything that I should & not done what I shouldn't.

I'm keen to try again but would like to know if there is anything else that I can do to minimise my chances of another.

Thanks v.much x

[tamara]

So so sorry to hear your news.

I don't have any advice but I Googled miscarriage on this site and found the following link

http://www.nappyvalleynet.com/miscarria ... 14587.html

hope it helps and please do let us all know how you're getting on

[supermummy]

Sorry to hear your sad news. I know more about this than I wish I did due to my own history .

There are many different causes of miscarriage - often it is simply due to a random chromosome defect in the embryo ( we all have a certain number of damaged eggs, same goes for sperm) so it can be as simple as bad luck, hard as that may seem to accept. However, there are other causes which are essentially broken down into 1. maternal problems with carrying a healthy embryo ( eg uterine probelms, natural killer cells, blood clotting to name a few) and then 2. problems in creating a healthy embryo (genetic issues from either sperm or egg or both, random defects etc).

If you are having ERPC, have they offered to test the embryo? They should be able to tell you if they find certain chromosome problems. It takes a few weeks.

Having had 5 failures and 1 daughter and I can sympathise with how frustrating it is trying to get answers. Personally we only got answers after having lots of tests privately, not all are done on nhs plus by the time I had my nhs appt i was already fully tested and started on ivf so I hate to say it but paying did speed things up. The good news is I am now 14w pregnant and all the signs are good so don't give up, I was in total despair! For what it's worth we did do a detox and mega healthy eating plan and took zita west vitamins ( been told independently that stuff from boots contains so little it wont make a difference).

I also highly recommend a trip to the zita west clinic, they are great for helping you work out an action plan whether it be advice on clinics or a change f lifestyle.

Pm me if you would like more info.

Good luck

[Oeuf]

I'm so sorry to hear to hear of your loss. From experience I know there is very little anyone can say to make you feel better right now although your 13 month old will be the greatest help to you.

I have had 4 pregnancies and only 1 child to show for it so far. I have found that the NHS are willing to investigate after 2 in a row but as the previous poster said, you will get a lot more answers a great deal quicker if you can afford to go private.

The fact that you have managed to have one healthy child is a great sign. Sometimes the body takes longer to heal itself and be ready to carry a pregnancy again after birth. It's worth having a few simple blood tests to start with to check all is ship-shape ... At one point my thyroid levels had gone a little too low which meant my body was not able to support a pregnancy properly and this was easily pinpointed and rectified through blood tests.

I have also found acupuncture to be very useful and effective.

I really hope that you are able to successfully conceive and carry again. However, in my darkest moments, I have always found enormous solace in the fact that we have been able to have one happy and healthy child - not everyone is so lucky.

Good luck!

I have personally also found acupuncture to be very

[NYE31]

Thanks for your advice & good wishes, I am seeing someone privately at Parkside hospital this week & cuddles with my LO are keping me going. I am very lucky to have him as many others are not as fortunate as I am.

I will keep you posted

x

[GillNic]

Hi,

I too am very sorry to hear of the stressful and upsetting time you've been having. I can share with you my sister's experience.

She had her first child no problem, first pregnancy and healthy birth. Then they went for No2, and she just had one miscarriage after another, 4 in total over a few years. She was devastated and exhausted physically and emotionally - just from being pregnant so often! Several were at quite late stages too, sadly. Like you, the Drs kept telling her it was 'normal' and wouldn't investigate until 3/4 in a row etc.

In the end she decided to take a break from getting pregnant and got a fitness trainer and lost some weight and got fit...and got pregnant and had her second child! She then thought, very understandably, well it might take just as long for No3 so let's get on with it...only to end up pregnant immediately and had No3 just over a year after No2!!

So having had 4 miscarriages she now has 3 very healthy happy, noisy, children.

I think stress (at work or from just trying to get pregnant) and health clearly have an impact...but also it can be just bad luck for a bit which doesn't mean at all that you won't have another child, if you can bear to keep going.

Hope that helps. And Good Luck. x

[Txmom]

I am also very sorry for you. I had 2 late miscarriages and went through a very difficult time and through that learned a lot via my own experiences and those around me. Luckily I finally managed to have healthy twin boys through IVF.

I agree with the other posters that going private if you can is the way forward to get quicker answers and also about trying acupuncture. Parkside may offer you some expensive blood tests to test for various things and it may be worth doing just to see if you can get any answers. Some things they can fix, sometimes, as others say, it is just bad luck (as it was in my case re miscarriages).

Best of luck to you and really hope it works out.

[Juggling mum]

Firstly - please accept my sincere condolences for your losses. To cut a long and painful story short - I had 2 miscarriages then my son. Followed by another 2 miscarriages. I went everywhere and took every test to be told there was nothing wrong with me. At my wits end - I found Mr Shehata at The Miscarriage Clinic who immediately diagnosed my problem. - which in my case was Natural Killer Cells. A condition where you lose the baby between 7-11 weeks due to your own immune system rejecting the baby. For some reason - during my son's pregnancy my immume system didn't react as much. There is lots of info on his website: http://www.miscarriageclinic.co.uk/
He deals with all different types of problems. He treated me in the first 15 weeks of my next (6th!!) pregnancy and my 8 month old baby girl is currently sitting on my lap as I am trying to type!! I would really recommend seeing him - I will be forever grateful to him. Very happy to chat some more if it helps or answer any questions.

[LadyOfLaundry]

I am also so sorry to hear about your miscarriages. I had three miscarriages as well, all at early stages of pregnancy around six weeks. I went to the miscarriage clinic in London, which someone mentioned in another post, and after a series of tests they found that I had problems with my immune system, and elevated NKC (natural killer cells). As I understand it and simplifying it, my immune system was reacting to the pregnancy, hence the miscarriages. The treatment is straightforward and very safe, involving taking aspirin, a low dose steroid and blood thinner. It worked for me, so I'm passing this on in case it's of help to you. All the best of luck.

[Vista123]

I am so sorry for your loss. I had 3 mc too, so completely know how you feel. St Mary's Hospital in Paddington has a great recurrent miscarriage clinic, so perhaps see if your Gp will refer you there? I think you can see them privately also.

I finally got pregnant with my second daughter at 41 and she is perfect. As an older Mum, you sometimes have to go through it a bit before you finally conceive with a healthy pregnancy again. It can just take more time, and I know how frustrating that is.

Hang in there and seek all the support you can. I really hope it happens again for you.

[Emilie1]

Hi,

When I just heard that I was expecting twins, my mum nearly died of thrombosis followed by pulmonary embolism.

I told my consultant at the fertility clinic where I was having IVF at the time (London Fertility Centre in Harley Street) that I had a deficiency in protein C and S (characteristic of people who are prone to deep vein thrombosis or clotting).

She put me straight away on anti-coagulants so that the chances of miscarrying would be reduced.

It was not a big deal. i just had to inject myself with anti-coagulatants every day throughout my pregnancy. The needles are very small. You just need a bit of fat (I had nearly none!) on your belly and it is not really painful since you inject in the fat tissues.

If you have a history of deep vein thrombosis, pulmonary or pulmonary embolism in your family then it is worth mentioning because it could be a reason. I am not a doctor though.

All the very best.

Emilie

[skipalong]

Very sorry to hear your sad news, I've also had 3 miscarriages and know how devastating it is. I think vista123 mentioned the recurrent miscarriage unit at st Mary's, paddington. I saw one of the recurrent miscarriage consultants from there privately, raj Rai who was fantastic (this was after two so couldn't get an NHs referral). Initially I did see a consultant at parkside and whilst he was good, the unit at st marys is supposed to be the best in Europe and my view was if I tried that and it still didn't work, then at least I'd tried everything I possibly could! Fortunately it did and I did find raj very supportive of me in my pregnancy because I was always worried something might go wrong again and he was very reassuring.
Good luck and I'm sure you will get there in the end and he/she will be all the more special for it..xx

[Trufflear]

I suffered 5 miscarriages before 12 weeks and my story is almost identical to juggling mum's post above. I was recommended Dr Shehata at the miscarriage clinic and was diagnosed with NKC. You are then put on a course of treatment according to how high your levels are - mine involved high dose steroids and a number of other tablets. It was very easy to follow and I didn't suffer any side effects. I know have a happy and healthy 10 month old daughter. I would highly recommend a visit to Dr Shehata, from the moment I was diagnosed he was sure that we wold have a successful pregnancy and he was right.
Good luck and best wishes

[sparkletiger]

So sorry to hear of your loss. Like you and many others who have posted I had several early miscarriages before I had my first daughter then another in between followed by successful second pregnancy and second daughter. I was just so grateful to have my baby that I saw it as an absolute bonus if I got another. I had loads of tests and the only thing they found was a little fibroid which they removed. Don't think thus was the cause as I had 2 miscarriages after that op.

Other posters have given excellent advice. It
makes me wonder if I had the killer cells thing...

The only Thing I have to add is that I found learning natural family planning - where you read your bodies signs to tell
when you're ovulating. I felt it gave me some focus and control and that I was doing what I could. It takes a bit of learning - taking body temp when you wake and charting it but you soon get it, with support
of a natural family planning specialist - check out www.fpa.org. uk or call
their helpline to get more info and find a specialist. With both successful pregnancies I knew I was ovulating so we had sex and hey presto.

It took the pressure off a little.

Good luck, love the child you have and keep
on keeping on

x

[momtomum]

I'm sorry for your loss.

I had two early miscarriages before my first son was born in 2004. I got pregnant when he was about a year old and had a third miscarriage around 13 weeks. It's so hard. Thankfully, I got pregnant again with my second and then (surprise!) third little boys. All of my pregnancies were complicated and high risk. In the end, we decided to adopt our fourth and soon to be fifth kids. (Yes, we'll have 5 kids in London. Crazy I know...)

The things that helped me stay preggers were accupuncture and a low dose of progesterone during the first trimester. I don't know if this is common in the UK (I was in the US at the time). All I know is that when I took progesterone, I stayed pregnant - when I didn't, I lost the pregnancies. Along with accupuncture, my chinese medicine doctor suggested some changes to my diet - mostly eliminating dairy, soy and wheat. She told me to eat a lot of soup. She said my spleen was cold. I have NO idea what that means...but I decided to bring on the soup. Of course all of that was based on what was going on in my body - but maybe a few more things to consider.

While it's not everyone's first choice, adoption has been an amazing gift to our family. I can't imagine our life without our adopted daughter. She's been such a blessing to our whole family and we can't wait to bring her sister home. For our family, we felt pretty strongly that if we couldn't get pregnant relatively naturally, we would pursue adoption. There are so many kids in the UK and around the world who need families. And as a mom of both biological and adopted kids, I can say without hesistation that the depth of love and connection I feel to my daughter is the same as to my sons. There are many paths to parenthood...most of them bumpy.