What excuses did you use when trying or in early pregnancy? Post Reply

[Notyetamum]

My husband and I are going to start trying for a baby but don't want to particularly tell people we're doing so until we're successful and the three risky months have passed.

Did you keep quiet when you were trying or in early pregnancy? If so, how did you decline a drink without anyone suspecting or asking questions?

I'd love to hear your ideas!

Thanks in advance.

[moops]

Hi

I tend to keep quiet until I feel it is safe to do so as I've had 2 miscarriages in a row. The first one I told most people when I was 8 weeks and then had to inform everyone I had miscarried. With the second I didn't tell anyone but still informed family afterwards and I didn't feel I got as much support as with the first one when everyone knew. I guess what I'm saying it that if you want to share the entire experience with everyone then I wouldn't bother keeping it quiet but if you are more the type to keep to yourself if unfortunately something goes wrong then I wouldn't. Sorry if I'm rambling but I have a screaming toddler needing me!

Just quickly though, my friend's excuse for not drinking was that she was just trying to keep healthy for when and if they start trying. No definites there! Good luck!

[Laurie]

Hello,
I had to keep my pregnancy quiet for ages as was waiting for a promotion to come through at work which is quite social and so I always accepted a drink and then just put it too my lips. Then when a next round came in I'd say I just had one or swap with my husband. If you refuse that's when people get suspicious!
Good luck

[Eulanwy]

i agree with Laurie, never refuse a drink. My brother got married when I was 10 weeks, I said yes to every drink and then just swapped my full glass with my husband's near empty one.... my poor husband had the worst hangover ever the next day and my mother was concerned he had a drinking problem! but when i did break the news it was a complete surprise so it did work

[Notyetamum]

That's a brilliant idea and will definitely try that next time!

Thanks

[Birdie40]

Get the rounds in in the pub yourself - get a tonic water and tell people it is gin/vodka and tonic etc. My husband was rubbish at drinking my drinks, so unsubtle! Although with Easter not far away you can tell people you have given up alcohol for lent- between that and a New Years resolution you should get quite a long way into the year !!

When you are entertaining at home there are brilliant alcohol free beers about these days and sparling elderflower looks like Champagne, Asda has some great alcohol free (but look like wine) drinks - much better than the other supermarkets.

If you go to a regular pub after work...... a friend of mine told the bar staff and that her drink would always be a vodka and orange but whenever anyone ordered that in the round they shouldn't out the vodka in, quite a hassle but it worked !

[SRR]

I used to say I was not feeling well or taking anti-biotics. However this only worked intermittently and if I was not with the same people for drinks on a regular basis!!! Also swapping drinks with partner works (at least for one of you).

Good Luck

[Mama]

Hello,

My reasons not to drink are different but the excuses are equally valid. I found difficult to keep up with the level of drinking when I arrived to the UK, but I never said "no" to a drink as people did not feel comfortable around me and saw me as kind of antisocial. Every time I had had enough, or I just did not feel like drinking, I would get my lips to it and then "loose" it somewhere in the bar, or I would go to the toilet with it and come back with lots less every time, I would swap it with my husband's (then boyfriend) empty one, and anything I could think of to get rid of of it. The funniest thing is people used to comment on HOW DRUNK I was this or that night!!
If you are at a dinner party with wine on the table and people serving it, you can always "warn" people beforehand that you have an ENORMOUS hangover and that one more drop of alcohol would push you over the edge...
Other excuses are detoxing for a week (so you tell people you are all right as it is only one weekend of "suffering") or that you have had a routine blood test that has showed really high levels of triglycerides and the doctor has said NO NO NO to alcohol, seafood, saturated fats, and refined sugars (white sugar), at least until the next blood test, to see if it is a "self inflicted" and momentary problem or a health issue...

Good luck!

[Mama]

Hello,

My reasons not to drink are different but the excuses are equally valid. I found difficult to keep up with the level of drinking when I arrived to the UK, but I never said "no" to a drink as people did not feel comfortable around me and saw me as kind of antisocial. Every time I had had enough, or I just did not feel like drinking, I would get my lips to it and then "loose" it somewhere in the bar, or I would go to the toilet with it and come back with lots less every time, I would swap it with my husband's (then boyfriend) empty one, and anything I could think of to get rid of of it. The funniest thing is people used to comment on HOW DRUNK I was this or that night!!
If you are at a dinner party with wine on the table and people serving it, you can always "warn" people beforehand that you have an ENORMOUS hangover and that one more drop of alcohol would push you over the edge...
Other excuses are detoxing for a week (so you tell people you are all right as it is only one weekend of "suffering") or that you have had a routine blood test that has showed really high levels of triglycerides and the doctor has said NO NO NO to alcohol, seafood, saturated fats, and refined sugars (white sugar), at least until the next blood test, to see if it is a "self inflicted" and momentary problem or a health issue...

Good luck!

[Notyetamum]

Thanks for all the suggestions and anecdotes!

I'm definitely going to use the lent excuse and the detox one...the hangover one is also going to be good as that will throw people off the scent!

I just need to get pregnant now!

[mumtobe]

Hihi,

I have similar experience. We did not want to tell anyone in the family/friends that we were trying for a baby or that I was pregnant until the 1st scan (in January this year).
We did not change anything in our behaviour but I did find the few tricks above quite useful in particular as my job involves a LOT of social events.
Be generous and buy people drinks without mentioning that yours is non alcoholic (Tonic Water on its own is not that bad)...just make sure no one is coming with you to help you carry the drinks!
If you are being served a glass, just pretend to drink it. I never refused one during the first 12 weeks and when I announced that I was pregnant at work everyone was horrified because I had been "drinking all that time"!!
I found it quite useful from time to time to take a trip to the bathroom and empty my glass until a colleague of mine walked in as I was pouring champagne in the basin. I just told here that I didn't like that brand but would not upset our host...
Swapping drinks with my husband was the funniest part of it all as he has never been a big drinker.
I did use the medical excuse a few times (very useful in particular if you don't want to book days off work for your first antenatal appointments). I had a really bad bug over Christmas as I was only a few weeks pregnant, was off sick a couple of days and came back saying that my doctor had advised a full check up as my blood pressure had dropped and I seemed a tad anemic. I was only 4 week away from my 1st scan but that really helped as my employer knew I had to go to hospital and really needed a healthy life...
I think the secret lies in mixing all of the above and always having an excuse ready if people start asking questions.