Is my cleaner stealing money from me? Post Reply

[mrs_crumble]

I have a feeling my cleaner is stealing from us. I have a purse in which I keep a little cash in, but last month when I went to it, it was empty. So I thought, that's strange, but maybe I just hadn't restocked and 'dipped' in a few more times than I thought. So I replenished it. Then yesterday I went back to the purse to take some cash out for a baby class and again it was empty - all the notes were taken, leaving a few pennies.

Our cleaner has been with us for 2 years, and also cleans for a friend, so I can't believe it's her - but at the same time, who else can it be? I know there was about £50 in there.

I asked my husband yesterday (he didn't even know about the purse) and it can't be the little ones as they are still too small to know what cash is.

What should I do? My husband suggested planting a trap then I'll know for sure. It's left me with a horrid feeling and I really don't know what to do????

[simplymum]

I would plant some cash and then you will know for sure. I know it means potentially losing more money, but you need to find out. Otherwise you might always wonder. And if it's taken, ask for your keys back immediately!!!!

[Hattie]

A difficult one. If there really is no-one else in the house that could be taking it (and make sure that you put it somewhere where no little fingers can reach) then I think you must mention it to her.

You could mark your cash with a UV Pen. You could just draw an x but it might be better to write your first name on the bills. The writing is invisible until you shine a UV or blacklight on the bill. Alternately, or in addition, you might consider dusting with visible thief detection powder, in order to stain the thief's fingers a deep purple. Be careful handling this powder as it will be messy and stain everything it touches in the presence of a little moisture. Again, be careful, if you have purple stains on your hands, people may notice. You may want to use rubber gloves to set the trap. When you leave your purse, dust some of the powder on the zipper and where it might be grabbed to pick up. You can use a Q-tip for this. Choose a color that will be least visible on your purse. You can try just a little dab to control it. If the thief is not obvious, you can spread it around a little more, the next time. The hands will become stained a deep purple the moment the powder gets any moisture. It will also happen to your hands and clothes unless very careful and deliberate, or wear gloves.

It's a horrid situation for both of you and I wish you luck. I use a lovely cleaner from Dirty Cows. I pay a little over the odds per hour but their cleaners are trained, vetted and employed permanently by the company. To use an oft repeated quote: You get what you pay for.

Good luck and let us NVN users know how you eventually tackle this. I'm sure others have had this problem in the past.

[mrs_crumble]

Hi everyone - further to my post on Tuesday, I decided to lay a trap! I was 98% sure that the money had been taken, but I needed to be 100%. So I put £19 back in to the purse - a random amount (1 x £5 note, 1 x £10 note and 4 x £1 coins)
Anyway, the cleaner came (as usual) yesterday morning - I left her to it (as I always do) and popped out. I returned after she left and checked my purse....
The notes were there - thank goodness I thought.... but then I tipped the purse out and only 2 of the £1 coins landed on the table. WHAT!!! I felt sick - she had obviously helped herself - realised there wasn't much in there to choose from and taken what she thought I wouldn't notice.
Am absolutely gutted, upset, angry, disappointed, mad, sad and all the emotions in between - also I think how could I have been so stupid.
Now the dilemma is - how do I deal with it? She's got to go, that's for sure - but what's the best way to manage it? I need all the help and advice i can get - she has my house keys so most importantly I need to get those back.

[HighchairHostess]

Why don't you call her and say you've lost your keys, so you need hers? And then when you have them back, call her and say she's no longer needed.

Unless you want to make it clear to her that you know what she's been up to? But I think that's quite difficult-not sure I could do it and be that confrontational...

Let us know what you decide.

[Hattie]

Now that you know for sure,I don't think there is any need to be subservisve any longer. A client of mine once had the same problem so she put quite a lot of money (over £100) in smaller denomination notes, all marked with invisible pen), went out for an hour, came back, checked the purse and on seeing that some WAS missing, simply called the police before the cleaner left - she was asked to empty her bag and the stolen note was found. Traumatic, but a thief is a thief.

If it were me - I would now simply ask for her keys as she arrives for work. Tell her that you deliberately put a set amount on money in the purse to see if it was actually her and explain the outcome. Let her know how upset and hurt you are and that you will not be giving her a reference. It is, of course, up to whether you make it a more formal accusation with the police as she is quite likely to deny it at this stage.

I do feel for you - but I think you have to be as open, honest and up-front as you would wish her to be with you.

[lazy-bones]

I had the same thing happen to us?
Sorry but you have lost your trust with her and a thief is a thief?
You know what to do! (get rid).
I know its hard to do but what option do you have, She will benefit by having to realize whether she likes it or not she is not trusted?
Don't bother with the police or setting traps?..... Its quite simple as Alen Sugar would say Your Fired.....
Our cleaner was at it for ages with money out of my draw, Then my Diamond Watch went missing, a gold ring, God only knows what else she took.....
Tell her you just don't need her anymore for personal reasons and get another one with good references.

As for your keys you have to change the locks even if its only one of them she might have copies cut and given them to friends or family ? birds of a feather flock together??????????
Contact your safer neighbourhood police for advice

[mrs_crumble]

Okay, so to update you all, we fired her on Friday. We decided not to confront her directly about the stealing. Instead, the moment her key went in the lock, my husband opened the door and wouldn't let her across the threshold. He cut to the chase and just said, 'we have to let you go. Please can I have our keys back'. She handed over the keys, and left without a fuss after 2 years service. We both think she knew she had been rumbled and her rapid departure probably showed how glad she was that the police weren't called.
However, we also feel a duty to the community so we will be in touch with one other family we know use her so that they can take appropriate action.
Contacting the neighbour police unit is also something we will do and perhaps we can post back on what they say.
So relieved she has gone. We will be very security conscious for the time being as we know she knew our schedules although I am not going so far as to change the locks. And will have to post again soon for a cleaner recommendation!
Thanks everyone for your help & support.

[lazy-bones]

Well done it takes a certain amount of courage to fire someone whom you thought you could trust! Your husband did the right thing by confronting her at the door and catching her unawares like that? Glad your going to speak to safer neighbourhood bobbies good move

Happy xmas x