Spanish and other au pair experiences - advice wanted Post Reply

[mumandmore]

I would love to compare au pair experiences with other mums who have had au pairs. We have had two Spanish au pairs between 30 and 35 which have been quite up and down experiences. We are a very warm, fair, generous family with one well behaved child living in a spacious house in a central area. Our son goes to nursery so our au pair does the morning until midday then from 3 to 5 plus sometimes on weekends and babysitting. But we have now had two Spanish au pairs whom we have loved initially and then gradually (after about a month) found a were regularly sick, unenthusiastic and just generally unhappy with London. This has been really upsetting for my family and I as we have been so flexible, persistent and kind. They have both stayed between 6 months and one year but I am wondering if it would be better to try an au pair from another country or someone younger? we thought a bit older might be better but has come with a lot of extra emotional issues we didn't anticipate. I hope this doesn't sound we are an uncaring family - we have honestly provided a loving generous cultural exchange but I always felt they didn't appreciate it. Does anyone else have a similar experience or any tips on which nationalities and ages might be a better bet in future?

[mumandmore]

Hahaha no we only have one au pair but I have had experience with two different ones. yes it is hard to have these difficult conversations. I have found both so prickly. I think what is most frustrating is that they don't treat the opportunity In apositive way. They both felt that being an au pair was something you endure in order to learn English and half the time dont bother to put on a brave happy face. It's very hard and often lonely even with a warm family but I feel they owe it to the family and children to make a constant effort to be positive and cheery. We do with her even if we arent feeling cheery and happy! Equally I don't think they appreciate that the value of their accommodation (good clean interesting safe location). All they look at is the pocket money and feel like they should be earning more money. And then there is all the emotional baggage of boyfriends and rejections and friendship problems. We expected to care for her but not quite to this level. Sorry if I am venting a little...we are very patient kind people but feeling like we are the ones making so much effort and its exhausting. Does anyone have experience of cheerful au pairs?

[mumandmore]

Oh my goodness you have had a terrible time of it. I would have sent her packing for sure! I am gobsmacked.

[Tils1]

We had an au pair for just under a year who was amazing - when she came to us she had been sleeping on a friends floor so fully understood the cost of living as they charged her for everything including share of council tax, internet etc even though she was only there for two weeks or so. She never grumbled about money and it was heart warming when she left and said it was the best experience she could have ever hoped for and also thanked us from her parents for helping her have a safe adventure in the UK.

She worked hard, always was on time, went the extra mile, was amazing with the children and also child related duties such as their washing cooking etc.

We now have a nanny who unfortuantely isnt a patch on the au pair. She is okay with the children but has never initiated an activity even colouring or basic baking from a cupcake kit. Even though she has so many extra hours in her day and contract she has never once done the chores asked of her instead she does her own thing ... its a disaster and I am in a similar position to those with the au pairs and need to sit and have the difficult chat and am dreading it.

If you want and need an au pair do preserve as there are some great ones out there - just as in any profession there are people who are good and average...

[No1Twinmama]

We have a 22 year old Spanish au pair , and I hate to say it but she is a dream ! She adores my twin babies , and they adore her right back . She keeps the house in perfect order ( although I do have a cleaner twice a week ) , she's happy to walk my dogs . She pretty much does everything I need / want . I do think that having an older au pair could bring certain problems , as their expectations will be different to that of a younger girl .
The only problem she does have is the weather ! So to combat that I have given her sole use of my Arctic parka , which does seem to have cheered her up .
Good luck with your future Au Pairs , and maybe look for someone in their early to mid twenties