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[Lulumoo]

Can anyone offer some helpful advice because I am at a loss. Since birth, my daughter has hated getting dressed for some reason. She puts up a fight and cries every time. She is now 15 months and I am still going through the same thing, only it is much much worse. I can't even change her nappy without the tantrums, screaming, kicking and turning around. The neighbours must think something horrible is happening. I have tried giving her toys to play with, books, comforter, new objects, changed room, in front of favourite tv program, singing, dancing, making silly faces and noises, not speaking at all and ignoring the behaviour, naughty step, NOTHING WORKS! Is anyone else going through this? It's really getting me down. She is so strong, it's hard to control her legs and I don't want to hurt her. But I can't handle it anymore and don't know what to do. Bed time is supposed to be relaxing, but as soon as she sees her nappy and pi's, the fight starts and we both end up upset. She is a very clever and determined little girl who is really well behaved and lovely in every other way. Any advice or ideas would be helpful.

[mgb]

I'm sorry for what you're going through, must be stressful especially at the end of a long day. Can you make it into a game? For example, a 'race' to see who can get dressed faster? As she gets older you can also let her choose her pjs e.g. 'would you like to wear the stripes or the flowers.' Both examples work with my also strong-willed child.

[Lulumoo]

Thanks, I might be able to try that when she gets a bit older (I'm hoping it will all be over before then though!) because right now she is probably too little to understand. You never know though, I'll give it a go tonight and see how we go.
Thanks for your suggestion. Anything helps

[mrs_pavlova]

I'm sure you've tried this already or maybe at 15 months she's too young, but I find that offering a choice to my wilful two year old helps. eg. would you like to have your nappy changed in the bedroom or living room? Would you like to sit in the high chair or big boy chair for tea? etc. etc. and like the previous poster said, flowery pjs or stripy pjs.

Even though your daughter is very little she might understand the question enough to feel in control more. My son is sometimes the same when I try to change his nappy when he isn't ready. Kicking legs can create a REAL mess with a dirty nappy!! So I've learnt that it's better to say, you need your nappy changed, would you like me to change it here or there... etc. Also, a five minute warning that something is going to happen might help as she gets older. eg. In five minutes we'll go upstairs to get undressed for a bath, which toy would you like to take when we go?

Good luck, and sorry if this advice is too grown up for your daughter. x

[pie81]

Ok here's what I do with my 15 month old, in case it helps:

- Bedtime, I use a projector (Tomy Star) so she can watch the moving pictures while I get her PJs on. Works best if I "narrate" the pictures ("can you see the frog?" etc).

- Dressed in the morning, I don't even try to lie her down as she will protest. Instead I let her sit or stand and play with toys and I get her dressed while she does that. For tights and trousers I sit her on my lap and pull them on.

That doesn't help you with nappy changes I realise...

Why do you think she hates it? Because it's boring? or do you think she might find it physically uncomfortable for some reason?

[SamJo]

That sounds familiar!

I have a very very strong willed and physically strong 1 year old who since birth us screamed blue murder. He hates not being in control and is terrified of being bored (perhaps someone else in the family is also like that?). I gave up getting him to lie down months ago. We do stand up nappy changes where I put a toy up high and he tries to reach it or sit him down on my lap and let him "read" a book or toy. I take the nappy off, let him crawl off to grab whatever toy he wants at that moment in time, then take the toy and place it up just at high reach, or throw it in the bath so he stands at the edge and tries to reach it.

getting dressed I just take my time and try to get him distracted (TV, toys, cruising) and he is usually ok once distracted and if we get dressed in stages. Also, discussing that we are going outside and that is why we are getting fully dressed into jackets etc sometimes helps him calm down. Mainly, getting dressed is boring when really he'd love to be doing something else, so I just try to combine the two.

Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't... One day they will stop wearing nappies and get themselves dressed. The alternative, is to move to a warmer climate (I have calculated the hrs of my life that would save) and toilet train them early! Good luck! You are not alone in this. I keep reminding myself that I love his sense of will...