Happy ending after recurrent miscarriages? Post Reply

[sheenmum]

Hi. Sorry if this triggers sad memories for some.
I've just had my second miscarriage in six months. I had a blighted ovum last week at 9 weeks. It's been hard but psychologically marginally easier than last time as I know there wasn't an actual baby. While I'm still mourning the loss of a pregnancy, it's been a little easier not imagining an embryo (which I saw last time I passed my sac).
After my scan, the miscarriage took place naturally within 24 hours and the bleeding has nearly stopped. I have to go for a scan again to make sure all debris is out but I feel fortunate that it did happen naturally.
I'm now doing the only thing I feel I have control over, that is looking after my body and planning for the next one. It may sound crazy but I've been reading about fertility cleansing, acupuncture, meditating and healing following a loss. I feel that it's all I can do right now, the only way I can get some control over the situation. It's hard not to let feelings of anger and bitterness get hold of me so I'm trying everything I can to think positive and look to the future.
I'd really love to hear some happy ending stories after recurrent miscarriages. Googling has become a nightmare because all I keep reading is about 7, 10, 20 miscarriages and nothing at the end of it. Please, I'd love to hear from some people who got their rainbow baby after so much pain.

[MummytoT]

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. I've had three miscarriages in total, admittedly two were early about 7 weeks but one was a delayed miscarriage at 10 weeks (embryo stopped developing at 6 weeks but did not miscarry at that time) and it resulted in an ERPC. I felt as though I would never have another baby (I was very lucky to already have a little boy) and was becoming quite desperate. The joy of pregnancy followed by the deep feeling of loss each time it happened was such an emotional roller coaster and it took its toll. However, last November, I had another gorgeous baby boy. I feel incredibly lucky but it can and does happen. I didn't end up going down the road of investigation and alternative therapies but you should do whatever you need to to cope and stay as positive as possible. I know it's incredibly hard. Try and stay strong. X

[Bluebutterfly]

I'm sorry, this is such a hard time for you. I don't know if this will help, but just quickly counting in my head I can think of 14 people I know who have had at least one miscarriage (many have had 2 or more) and every single one of them has gone on to give birth to a healthy baby (or more). I also had 2 miscarriages in 6 months, but have since gone on to have twins and I am pregnant again, so please try to stay positive as I'm sure it will happen for you. x

[sheenmum]

This is exactly what I need to hear. Thank you so much for sharing. I can't tell you how much better this has made me feel. I'm going to keep referring back to this when I'm feeling doubtful.
Quick question, how long did you wait before trying again. My bleeding has almost stopped, I have an appt for a scan this week and I'm so tempted to start trying again ASAP. Or perhaps I should wait until after my next period. I just so badly want to be pregnant again! My first loss would have meant I would have been due at the end of August. I feel like I need to be pregnant before this. It's just psychological I suppose.

[Bluebutterfly]

I'm so glad that helps a bit, I completely understand how you feel. Personally I started trying again straight away as that really helped me to move on and focus on something positive. I just wanted to concentrate on getting pregnant again. Everyone is different though, and I know many people feel that they need time to recover/heal physically and psychologically from the miscarriage. If you feel like you want to start asap then I would say go for it - I think possibly doctors recommend that you wait for your first period, but as far as I can see this is just to avoid uncertainty as to the date you conceive, and it is very easy to have a scan to determine how many weeks pregnant you are in due course! I certainly know a couple of people who got pregnant the first cycle after a miscarriage (someone told me that you are more fertile then as your uterus lining has completely regenerated, not sure if that is true) but for others it can take longer - I think it is a bit of an egg lottery really and if you have no underlying health issues then it is just a matter of waiting for the right egg to come along. So frustrating, I know. One other thing I wanted to say was that when I did have a successful pregnancy, for me, it put my miscarriages into perspective - I just thought "without the miscarriages I would never have had these beautiful children"! So looking back, it helped me make sense of it all. Good luck!

[Felicity0204]

I am so sorry to read what you are going through. I had a miscarriage at 9 weeks 3 years and felt pregnant with a very healthy child straight after. In the last 6 months, I have also lost two pregnancies, one at 16 weeks and another at 7 weeks. Have you thought about trying acupuncture as it can help boost fertility?
The upside is that you can fall pregnant so it should just be a matter of time. As difficult as it is, try not to focus on it too much, relax and it should hopefully all work out well for you very soon. Very best of luck. x

[sheenmum]

I am so sorry to read what you are going through. I had a miscarriage at 9 weeks 3 years and felt pregnant with a very healthy child straight after. In the last 6 months, I have also lost two pregnancies, one at 16 weeks and another at 7 weeks. Have you thought about trying acupuncture as it can help boost fertility?
The upside is that you can fall pregnant so it should just be a matter of time. As difficult as it is, try not to focus on it too much, relax and it should hopefully all work out well for you very soon. Very best of luck. x

Hi Felicity0204. Thanks so much for sharing. I have actually looked into acupuncture as an option. I'm also having an abdominal massage in the next few weeks.
We're treating ourselves to a night away next week so you never know!!

[JenC]

Be kind to yourself as its a bit of a roller coaster experience. Also don't google - its the short road to nightmares. I have had 6 miscarriages from early to 15 weeks - all a bit different to each other and none any fun. Keep at it, its tough but worth it. I am currently waiting for my 1 year old to wake up from his morning nap and can't wait to play with him this afternoon. PM me if you'd like to chat - and/or book yourself a facial and a pamper!

[Jopoppy68]

So sorry for your losses. If it happens again, you could look into immune issues. Stage 1 is to look at your thyroid function and I believe you can ask for test through your GP. After that you could go and see an immunes specialist - Dr Gorgy is amazing but very expensive: http://www.fertility-academy.co.uk/about-us/dr-a-gorgy/. There is a tonne of information on Fertility Friends: http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum ... board=52.0

But it might be just bad luck in your case. Perhaps just look to get super healthy - eat well, take good quality supplements (both you and your partner), and be very kind to yourself. It will happen and you will have a baby, either by yourself or with a little bit of help. Luckily you are in a city where a lot of help is available. Good luck!

[NYE31]

So very very sorry to hear of your loss, I have had 3 miscarriages, I have a 3 year old & I am almost 7 months pregnant

I had all the tests, procedures & tried everything, acupuncture, massage etc etc & whilst it took me almost 2 years to successfully conceive again I'm convinced that taking soluble aspirin & progesterone for the 1st 13 weeks kept me pregnant this time.

It's heartbreaking & my heart goes out to you, please do PM me if you would like to chat more.

Sending you a virtual hug x

[susih]

Hi, I am so sorry to hear of your loss, each time it happens hope disappears a little more and it can be a lonely and dark place to be.

I had 6 miscarriages over a five year period, punctuated by many explorations and tests and trial treatments. The only reason they ever found was that it was to do with my age and my eggs, even though I could get pregnant, and in the end we managed to achieve our baby dream with the help of an egg donor in Spain. Our baby girl was one last weekend and is the light of our lives!

Don't give up hope and be kind to yourself. I found acupuncture and reflexology were great - I don't know if they made a difference to my fertility but they helped my mind and helped me relax and made me feel I was doing something positive. Lesley Regan's recurrent miscarriage clinic at St Marys is excellent - her advice not always what you want to hear, and you wait hours and it's busy - but the best place to be referred to as and when you need to look into things further. Just insist on it with your GP.

Wishing you all the luck in the world x

[coffeemonster]

Hi,

I've only had the one miscarriage (blighted ovum only found at 12 weeks), but I just hope you see from all the above posts that sadly miscarriage is SUCH a common thing.

When mine happened I found that all of a sudden so many friends and family members came out with similar stories (including instances of multiple miscarriages). I should add that they all went on to have healthy babies!

So at this time, give yourself a break, and try not to worry. Easier said than done but if you look after all aspects of your health it will give you the best possible chance of having the healthy baby that you are dreaming of.

[Mummy Bear]

Hi, Firstly I'm really sorry to hear about your losses. Secondly, be kind to yourself and do whatever you can to make yourself feel good. Thirdly (and as so many people have already posted) there absolutely can be a happy ending.
I had two uneventful pregnancies and two lovely small children but then suffered three miscarriages. I went to the Recurrent Miscarriage Clinic at St Marys. Previous tests had shown nothing wrong and I was told it was "just bad luck". But tests at the RMC showed a blood clotting disorder that only needed half an aspirin every day (from a positive pregnancy test until 34 weeks) So my next two (yes two more!)children cost me £5.40 for the aspirin!! Good luck and take care x

[::jojo::]

I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. Having children was not an easy journey for me - and it was such a difficult time as it seemed that the whole world was having babies and I found it very difficult to talk to anyone - unless you've gone through it many don't know what to say and it can be so isolating. Now I know I was one of many that eventually achieved our families. I went to St Mary's recurrent miscarriage clinic - I've got autoimmune problems and a congenital half a womb and one ovary (yes...really rubbish!) but they got to the bottom of all the problems, treated them and although I then went on to have a miscarriage before my daughter was conceived they discovered it was natural causes. A obs gynae told me all things considered I probably had a 10% chance of a naturally conceived baby arriving into the world full term and I managed it twice. My advice is to seek professional support to help steer you medically and emotionally through this time and you will see the other side. Remember to still have fun and not become anxiety driven - all your hormones need to be in a good place for it to fall into place and the more health and happiness you have the better so take good care of yourself. Years of battling with auto immune issues has made me a firm believer in eating as much of a whole food plant based diet as possible which will put you in optimum health and make you feel good too. Good luck with everything.