Both mine are autistic and this screams it. Absolutely screams it. The sensory issues alone are classic. Young for age, socially anxious, "awkward..." it's all textbook.

She needs assessment by a good ed psych, SLT and OT, and those are more important than diagnosis because they actually determine what the child's needs really are - a diagnosis doesn't.

In London, for a child with this profile and age, I would want Melinda Eriksen for OT, Dr Jemma Levy for ed psych, and Helen Pearson for SLT. If ADHD is possibly in the frame, Dr Maite Ferrin is your woman. She can diagnose autism, too, but ADHD (including inattentive subtype, which is ADD) responds well to medication, so that is actually more helpful.

I appreciate this is tough on all of you, but this girl has been failed by her parents if they had all these signs and didn't address it. She's not broken, she just has a different neurotype and trying to hammer a round peg into a square hole, then being puzzled that this does nothing but damage the peg, fails her.

Part of being an adult, and especially a parent, is looking difficult truths in the face and then taking the steps the child needs you to take in order to help them. And it is so, so essential that people understand what is going on with her if she is to be helped. Bluntly, you need that too - an unsupported autistic child or young person is a total PITA, love them as you may. And I'm not a step-parent.