Taking the children on an extended holiday Post Reply

[CelesteNieva]

Hi there,
We are a half British/ half South American family with two children, a 4 yo and 6 mo.
Because of the pandemic my oldest child was able to visit my home country only once when he was a baby and now that I’m on maternity leave again I’m planning another trip to spend some time with my family in my beloved motherland.
This is the last chance I have to go away for an extended period of time before my son starts school in Sep and I’d like to go away for 6 weeks in Jan/Feb.
My husband will be able to join us for 2 weeks either in the middle or end of our holiday but he’s arguing that we should only go for a total of 4 weeks instead of 6.
Beside he missing the children (which I totally understands) he thinks my son will miss his routine, friends, nursery and uk grandparents if we go for so long.
I think it’s an incredible enriching opportunity for my son (And baby) to connect with his south American roots, family, cousins and get to know where his mum comes from. Because we can go to the beach and a few different towns I feel 4 weeks will be rushing around (specially as 2 weeks will be spent with my partner) and feel that if I have more time on my own there, we’ll have a more relaxed time.
Do you think 6 weeks it’s too long to “remove” your son for his day to day live at 4 yo?
Thanks!

[cuqui03]

Just go. The older they get the harder it will become. My husband is American and we currently live in Spain. We now try to go to the US once a year for around 4/6 weeks. The children really get the chance to feel is part of who they are and the longer stays mean it does not feel they are visiting and ready to take a plane again. There will be a time when it becomes harder. Maybe your husband can work remotely for a bit? I think is a bit selfish to think 2 weeks will make such a difference. If by chance you are raising them bilingual they will improve that language less used massively.

[uptheoctave]

What cuqui said. Also, kids are massively adaptable and yes, 6 weeks is far longer through the eyes of a 4yo than an adult, but he'll be coming back into the school routine, they adjust really quickly and he'll always have that connection to your motherland. I completely see your husband's point of view as I miss my kids when they go away for one weekend, let alone longer! But putting our own separation issues aside, it's a great opportunity and I wish you and your family all the best. 

[Bbkl]

Definitely go. We lived in my husband’s country for years, and I brought the children back to the uk for an extended break every year. This was the norm for everyone I knew in similar circumstances.
I really the valued the time to relax and settle in to routines here, visit friends and family and my children have such wonderful memories of those visits. It also maintained a connection with my parents at a time when they weren’t able to travel for health reasons.
Especially now, after years of not being able to visit and having this opportunity due to your mat leave, your husband’s objections seem a little unreasonable.

[Janet14]

Yes definitely just go! It may be your husband is worried about being left while which is why he’s not too enthusiastic but it’s a fabulous opportunity and I took mine away for a month at the same time. You’ll never get that timd back and life is for living!

[WGMOM]

No
Just go
My kids are same age as you (4 &6). They are half British half Greek
I bring them to Greece 4-6 weeks every year. I work from here, my husband visits and then we all go on holidays
1. It is a great way to meet their Greek family (they are half Greek after all)
2. It is a great way to truly practise their Greek. They are both bilingual. They need to practise
3. What routine? It is summer. They follow the same routine they would have had in the UK (meal time, sleep etc) and they also get to experience a new culture. Which is their own

[stellaofbalham]

GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO........

[jo.dough]

You’ll never have such a good chance to go again so definitely do it! It will connect the kids with their roots, be an adventure and honestly, the kids will adapt just fine both there and back here after. Do it!

[dudette]

I’m thinking about when my kids were little and if my husband had wanted to take them away for six weeks and I would say with every fibre of my being that I wouldn’t have let him. And it’s actually not the four year old that bothers me but the baby. Babies change so quickly and six weeks of a baby’s life when they’re so little is a huge amount of time. Unless your husband is very tolerant I think this could be very damaging to your marriage so I’d be very careful about going against his wishes. If you do go I’d suggest he visit you the middle two weeks so he doesn’t miss seeing the baby for too long.

[Starr]

Absolutely do it!
So enriching for your child to be attuned to their heritage.
I'm grateful my mother did that for us too.

[muddyboots]

Agree with JUST GO!!
Of course he will miss them but he’s being a bit selfish.
Routine and UK grand parents is a poor excuse aimed at guilt tripping you.
How about the other grand parents??

This is the price you pay when you marry someone from another country.

He should embrace and encourage the other side of your children’s heritage.

I spend 4 weeks every summer with my family and I know my in-laws would love to do the same but they get us all year round, my parents don’t.
I absolutely love the extended holiday and it’s so important for children to get a chance to totally immerse themselves in the culture and language.

Of course your husband will miss them, but there is face time calling thankfully which does ease the pain!

[lwilliams2312]

Hello, 

I am a private teacher. My expertise is languages (French, Spanish, English and Italian) but I also teach and homeschool Maths and English. I have parents facing the same dilemma often and sometimes they decide to take a teacher away with them so that the children are able to keep up with their studies whilst they are away, whilst also enjoying an enriching, relaxed and happy family holiday. If you would like to consider this, I would be more than happy to potentially discuss it further.

I look forward to hearing from you soon. 

Very best wishes, 

Lucinda Williams  Private language tutor
 M: + 44 7949 245 335E: lwilliams14@live.co.ukW: www.privatelanguagetutor.com



 

[atbattersea]

Speaking from experience, after a week or so of separation your youngest will not recognise your partner… which may only last a short time, and the child will not remember it, but your partner will…

Most people seem to be cheering you on. I have been on similar long breaks, with my child, but also with my partner. It probably is not nice to be the one left at home alone.