Second baby: what to do with the toddler for the 1st months? Post Reply

[2ndtimeM2b]

Hello

I'm having a second baby in a few months and I wonder what I should do with his 18 months brother during the first months after the birth. As I am currently working full time, he is with a childminder and I am looking forward for my maternity leave to spend as much time as possible with him, while looking after the new baby... but I wonder how feasible this is? I would like to hear what other mums in the same case did. Did you arrange some part-time childcare (1 day a week maybe?) to have some time to rest and focus solely on the newborn? This is only for the 4 months after the birth as I will then be back at work. Thanks a lot for your help.

[ekf]

I have recently had my second baby. I have kept my 2yr old in nursery. It has really helped him adjust to having a sibling by keeping his routine. Plus it has allowed me to focus on newborn. On the days he's is not in nursery it is very tough as he doesn't understand why mummy can't play when I'm stuck feeding baby for hours. I've had to enlist help on those days from family. Once baby is bigger and doesn't need feeding so often I'm sure it will be better but it is quite challenging at the moment.

[topmama]

I have a 16 month gap between my two children. My son attended nursery for 3 days a week prior to his sister arriving and i kept him at that nursery for 2 days for the year following her birth until I returned to work. I felt this would be continuity for him and a bit of a break for me!
I found the hardest times were mealtimes and I tried to give him finger food so I did not have to bee spoon feeding him and well as sorting out the baby. But the bath/bed time. routine was particularly hard and is when I would have liked abit more help. My husband did not get home till after 8pm so was not much help then. The first 3 months were a struggle but many of us have 2 under 2 and we all get through it. My son watched more TV than I would have liked particularly when I was feeding. However my daughter became a very efficient feeder and could do a feed in 30mins when my son had always taken longer!
Good luck, it does get easier!

[BalhamMumWorkingFT]

Keep Nursery going... just the regular routine will be good for everyone.

I did lots of playgroups where I could have the baby in a sling and play with my son. It was a lot of fun and other Mum's were happy to help out too... (like hold the baby while I changed Nappies)...

Short trips between feedings were key!

Also, get a video they really like so you can distract them when necessary.. We lived by Fireman Sam (mine was only 15months old) for the first couple weeks just so I could feed!

Good Luck. Its hard at first and AMAZING later. My two play together ALL the time and makes my life so much easier.

Good Luck

[marionw]

keep the child minder going...but perhaps only mornings and then when new baby is asleep you have time to give to your other little one. Let him be involved with new baby as much as possible so he doesnt feel left out.

[KatherineHepburn]

I had twins when my older one was just turning 3, so a bit older.
I got help in for the tricksy hours 4.30-7 but other than that just muddled through. Fortunately she is at a lovely Montessori in the mornings, so that gave continuity but it did mean a fairly arduous day for me with drop-off during morning nap and pick-up and lunchtime with the older one during the lunchtime nap...add in the sleepless nights and it does become a tad wearing!
I think Disney/Pixar was my saviour but found that I had to switch to bottle feeding (and prop feeding) sooner than I would have liked to.
On the whole though it is doable and once you get to the stage of them all amusing each other...I imagine...magic!