NCT Group but don't want to breastfeed Post Reply

[tamara]

Hi
I've been asked this question by a friend and I don't know the answer.

She knows that NCT have a reputation for being a bit militant about breast feeding but my good friend, who is pregnant, is a bit worried. She has joined an NCT group and is looking forward to the support group post-birth. However she is not going to breastfeed and worries that she will be made unwelcome. She is a succesful professional woman, and her position will not be altered, but she worries that will make the whole NCT experience unpleasant.

I didn't know the answer to that - do you think they will make her feel unwelcome?

T

[Twirly]

Don't think there's anything to worry about there. OK they do advocate Breast Feeding but from my experience don't enforce it. I found the classes followed a set program but were also tailored to any specific areas of concern/interest. As for post support then it's very much down to the bunch of ladies you have in your group - there's no post support from the NCT as such (unless you want to pay for further classes). Out of the 7 in my group, i was the only one left Breast Feeding after 4mths, some started bottles after a few days and others slowly over a seried of months. It certainly would never have stood in the way of our friendship.

[evejohnstonryde]

I have just had a great experience with NCT doing an intensive weekend classes. They are told to recommend breastfeeding and are not allowed to discuss formula feeding but didn't by any means ram breastfeeding it down our necks. No one has to know that you're not going to breastfeed, no one has to know anything about how you are going to parent. I found the classes relaxed and open for any discussion, especially the teacher.

[catty29a]

As one of the other posters has said - the NCT don't really do postnatal support - you just seem to form a bond with those in your group and then meet up to compare horror stories! The NCT do advocate breastfeeding over anything else but those who attend NCT classes are just normal women (and partners) looking to meet up with other people going through the same thing rather than militant anti-formula agents! Of my NCT group I was the only one who breastfed for over a year, others stopped at 6 months whilst 2 went straight to formula - we all muddled along nicely and there certainly wasn't any awkwardness. Pleas edo reassure your friend that she'll make some really good friends who will be there to help her through all sorts of things (breastfeeding or bottlefeeding)and that she shouldn't worry! Cat

[monaco]

Tell her not to worry at all. Our ante-natal classes didn't have any "breastfeeding" propaganda and were very open. There was a free breastfeeding workshop included as well but certainly not mandatory.And even that class was quite relax about it and insisted that it was not easy and that it was up to all parents to decide what was best. There are also cases where you can't breastfeed for specific reasons (my friend had this from birth with her baby who had an infection etc...) and the NCT knows that.

My NCT friends were a blessing during that first year after our babies were born. We were a mix of mothers breastfeedginf for a long time, some doing formula feed frm the start, some doing a mix and others stopping after 3 months. Not one of us had any judgement on the other's choice and on the contrary, helped each other with the difficulties associated with either choice.

It's certainly worth the investment and your friend should go for it if for nothing else than building the support group that she will need.

[catief]

Hello

I agree with all of the above. We had our normal class over two days and then we had a breast feeding session separately about a week later, perhaps she can find a class that's doing that and just skip the second session.

It's none of their business and one of our group was really quite militant in her stance to decide when her baby had arrived and although our "teacher" was surprised at the reaction, she was really ok about it.

[catief]

PS Am slightly envious of someone who has made this decision so finally. What a relief to not have to go through the guilt and stress over topping up with formula which I had to do with with my giant, milk guzzling monster baby!!! Good for her.

[ClaphamNCT]

Hi
Jenny, Chair of Clapham NCT here. Thanks for the posts. Of course the NCT promotes breastfeeding, but like everything else with pregnancy, childbirth and parenting it is your choice what you do and we wouldn't dare to tell you how to do it. Our aims are to provide information and support to parents to enable them to make the most informed choices possible.

I did just want to challenge the posts that the NCT does not offer postnatal support... we absolutely do!

Clapham NCT hosts over 10 postnatal teas a month for new mums with similar aged babies to meet up in a volunteer's home, we run a fortnightly breastfeeding drop-in at the Weir Link Children's Centre (every 2nd and 4th Thursday), we have our weekly drop-in coffee morning at Common Ground Cafe on a Friday between 10-12 and we run 5 weekly playgroups in area - Battersea Chitter Chatter, Battersea Bumps & Babes, Pitter Patter Balham, Clapham Playgroup and Stockwell Playgroup. We have also published a postnatal directory of recommendations of things to do with your baby in the area. We also run lots of social events for new parents as well as three nearly new sales a year. All this is done by our fantastic branch volunteers. Please visit http://www.nct.org.uk/clapham" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; for more details of these activities.

The national charity operates the Early Days Helpline 0300 330 0773 which is staffed by qualified postnatal leaders who can talk you about life with a new baby. As someone else mentioned there are also Early Days courses you can go on too, although Clapham is not currently offering this format but Wimbledon & Wandsworth do.

[Juggling mum]

Just to let you know that I had a fantastic NCT experience and did not breast-feed post week 1 for a whole host of reasons. My Group were all professional women (like me) and supported my decision. I enjoyed being informed of the arguments for breastfeeding and I would highly recommend NCT. My Group still meet most weeks to catch up and they provide a valuable support group.

[EmmaJane]

Dear Tamara

In response to your query we would love to comment on your breastfeeding vs formula feeding and the impact your friend's choice may have during her NCT classes.

Firstly, the official line! The NCT does promote breastfeeding and adheres to the Unicef Baby Friendly guidelines and World Health Organisation Code of Marketing of Formula. Because of these guidelines it means that we do not teach about formula feeding in classes but we are very happy to offer this on a one to one if specifically asked by any class member.

The NCT certainly recognises that all mothers are more than entitled to make their own decision about what to feed their babies and in our personal experience and that of the broader national picture, would never shun anyone who wished to formula feed. The baby cafes that the Richmond NCT branch run are open to all mothers - both breastfeeders and formula feeders.

In addition, we find that the strong friendships often formed between the mums in each group provide a great deal of support, guidance and comfort regardless of the decisions that they make as to whether to breastfeed or formula feed. This is often based on their own personal experiences and we consider the support offered by other mums to be as important as the support that we offer through the branch.

We hope this helps your friend, but would be interested to know if she feels she has been dealth with negatively as a result of her choice.

Best wishes for 2010

The Richmond NCT Co-Chairs