Knife arches in local schools.

Dear NappyValleyNetter,

Happy April Fool’s Day!

I’ll spend most of today wondering if the stories on my favourite news websites are true or false but they’ll go have to a long long way to beat my favourite ‘fool of all.

Which isn’t the now infamous Google Minion gag – which, for those who missed it, was the world’s largest tech company totally dropping the ball by automatically adding a Minion image to your WORK emails (yes – you read that right). Nor was it a US journalist who got the sack for pretending there was a live volcano in his local park.

No, my favourite was from a now-defunct local magazine claiming that Wandsworth and Clapham Commons’ were going to be getting dedicated buggy lanes for all the Nappy Valley mums who were fed up with sharing the pavements with non-prams.

And like all fantastic ‘fools it was the fact that, for a brief moment, I really thought it could be true that made it so so good.

Anyway, I have to rush now – I’ve just read that London zoo are selling off their penguins and I’ve promised my youngest her own Pingu for Easter…

Here’s what you’ve been talking about this week on NappyValleyNet…

L. is looking for a local clairvoyant – any psychic recommendations? (read more)The first person to write “surely they’ll know you’re trying to find them” gets banned!

N. thinks there’s an opportunity for a start-up to disrupt the childcare industry. Any tech-savvy potential partners out there? (read more) Ooooh make Dad’s give birth – that would disrupt it and simultaneously drive innovation pretty s*dding quickly!

Northwood Schools, owner of Northcote Lodge and Broomwood Hall, is opening a co-ed senior school at the Garrad’s Road site in September 2020 (read more).

And L. is a pre-prep parent at the Garrad’s Road site who was pretty alarmed at the news (read more).

M. asks if you have any experience of Kybella injections to combat double chins? (read more)

Do you know of a driving instructor? CC needs one for her son! (read more)

F. is doing her Spanish A-Level oral really soon and would love to find a Spanish speaker with whom to practise! (read more) Bonjour!

Hola! Brindisa brings it’s street food weekend pop up to Hildreth Street(read more). THAT’s the word I was looking for!

A. would like to find a night nanny to help with their first born this summer (read more).

And F. asks for your nanny agency suggestions? (read more)

G.’s post on the petition to revoke Article 50 and stay in the EU has had almost as many replies as there are signatures. Well, not quite, but you get my drift! (read more) Oooh are we leaving? I hadn’t noticed!

WDD asked for advice a few weeks ago about her friend who was having an affair. K1999 has another perspective – she was in exactly the same situation herself a few years ago – but on the other side (read more).

And remember those massive spiders from last week? (read more) Well we now know what they are! And it’s not just scary…

Following the spate of violent crime, knife arch metal detectors are to be used in schools over the next two weeks (read more).

Here’s something a bit different – Ginema. You guessed it, gin and cinema, and it’s in Balham in May with Mamma Mia and Goldfinger, so something for everyone (read more). Ok so if it’s got a silver fox (Clooney) and a Grey Goose then I am IN! Oh, that’s vodka.

Why not book your teenager onto this age-specific Easter holiday course which will cover catastrophic bleeding, CPR, head injuries, drinking-related hazards and more (read more)?

Win a place on an Easter swim course with Angel Swim London (read more).

Kimberley Swim Clinics has just added a few more spaces to one of its Easter courses, so if you’re thinking of taking the plunge…(read more)

And Nurturing Mums Postnatal Courses are back in Balham and Earlsfield with four-weeks of great advice on sleeping, weaning and first aid as well as the chance to meet others who are brand new to parenting too! (read more)

We have a lighter evening full of House & Garden posts!

If you’re redoing your kitchen, take a look at our Design & Build Guide Edit on Kitchens – on-trend inspiration at your fingertips! (read more)

A. is looking for an interior architect/designer and would love your recommendations (read more).

S. has a 2-bed flat to let just off Chestnut Grove which could be what you need if renovating and looking for a short-term place to lay your hat (read more).

E. is on the hunt for wooden flooring for their house renovation – any pointers? (read more)

M is thinking of putting an almost 4-year-old in a top bunk to save bedroom space and asks, is this wise? (read more)

S. asks if you’d recommend made-to-measure blackout blinds for a Velux-style window (read more).

Some interesting replies to S. who asked about replacing windows with either timber or, dare she say it, PVC (read more).

S. would like to find a reliable and good cleaner in the Battersea area (read more).

We have a slightly darker morning full of Schools posts

B. is looking for a tutor for a child in Year 1 – any recommendations? (read more) 

Trinity St Mary’s C of E Primary in Balham has been ranked among the top 1% of high performing schools in the county – congratulations! (read more)

N. is interested in Cranleigh at 11+ and asks if they’re too late given the application and exam deadlines (read more).

If you are starting to think about schools then The White House Prep School have an Open Morning on Saturday 27th April 9:30-11:30 am. There will be displays of work, presentations and musical performances along with a chance to meet the Headmaster Tony Lewis and class teachers (read more).

Lastly, MM is looking for your feedback on Parkgate school (read more).

We have a passport cover full of Travel posts..

If you’re looking for a laid-back luxury family holiday in France then you might like to take a look at St Pierre de Serjac set in 200 acres of beautiful Mediterranean countryside (read more).

Or slightly further afield is Fiji, and Turquoise on Northcote Road has just launched the UK’s first ever tailormade brochure. Oh so tempting to be a bit exotic..(read more)

A house for six with shared pool in SW France is still available for some weeks this summer with a 15% offer for NappyValleyNetters (read more).

Here come those Situations Vacant

Financial Controller for expanding SW London pub group (read more).

Part-time Office Administrator based in Putney (read more).

After school Spanish tutor(read more).

Twin nanny position in Balham (read more).

For sale

Jenny Packman wedding dress (read more).

Miele freestanding dishwasher (read more).

Maclaren XT buggy (read more).

¾ size cello (read more).

Love

Annabel and NappyValleyNet Team