secret behind the picture perfect marriage? Post Reply

[elodiemax]

@ppasha27 thank you for your thoughtful response. I too wonder why its not yet okay for women to talk about enjoying sex? The feminist in me wants to provoke that discussion!
I assure you all that my experiences and feelings are real and not fake, and I will share more, sensitively, given the topic.
Belle de Jour was not unmasked for many years, and while both blogs are about women and sex, my experiences are from a different perspective. If people are reading for titillation then I agree they are interchangeable, but if anyone is reading to explore the idea of this type of sex within marriage, then its different enough to be relevant, surely?
Also - I do agree that going out for extra-marital sex does not replace a good honest conversation between husband and wife, or a fun date night just the two of us. Its simply an added extra that works for us, and so I'm intrigued to find out if anyone else has had similar experience or thoughts.
Do please keep the comments coming!
Elodie x

[Red1981]

Elodie,

Why are you so intrigued to find out if there are other people 'like yourself' who have had similar experiences when you've deliberately gone out of your way to go to 'sex parties where there are people like me, no chavs etc'...you've answered your own question already. Would it confirm something for you if someone did whip off their mask and it was someone living two streets down!? Honestly, if this isn't fake promotion for your book, either have a frank conversation with your husband, or grow up and own it - who cares what other people think.

[Jen66]

So you're swingers. It's not that unusual.

In your blog you say you're happily married. In your post you say that letting strangers F you was our way of mending a marriage. So which is it?

Smacks of fantasy to me but if genuine be careful. Very hard to stay anon online.

[tatabella]

Hi Elodie

Well you and your husband sound happy to me!
I'm sure and know that is not uncommon but it's still a taboo for women to be so out in the open about sex related matters. Had it been a man talking about it would probably be more acceptable, right?
Some comments are just so puritan and judgemental maybe a bit of envy going on there....
Take care X

[elodiemax]

Okay I've listened to your feedback, and have written a post to explain some more of the background behind this whole journey, to answer some of your questions. No mention of willies this time, but more of the emotion and thinking behind it.
I hope it is of more interest. And by the way, no there isn't a book!
www.elodiemax.wordpress.com
Elodie x

[sloaney donkey]

Seems to be that it is a bit too close to home for some ...


... Elode max ... which street did you say you lived on, again

[wynyard]

Interesting. You might want to check out https://www.amazon.co.uk/Whats-Wrong-Yo ... B00G0843PO, an amusing read, but also a good example of a literary standard in this area.

You should also be mindful of the use of its and it's, but apart from that I thought it read well and is a good example of 'you never know what goes on behind closed doors' and 'it's always the quiet/boring ones'.

[Scottov]

Elodie,

Why are you so intrigued to find out if there are other people 'like yourself' who have had similar experiences when you've deliberately gone out of your way to go to 'sex parties where there are people like me, no chavs etc'...you've answered your own question already. Would it confirm something for you if someone did whip off their mask and it was someone living two streets down!? Honestly, if this isn't fake promotion for your book, either have a frank conversation with your husband, or grow up and own it - who cares what other people think.

Yup, I think you’ve hit the nail on the head

There’s a bit too much “ooooh err look at me, aren’t I naughty” smugness here.

Without originality or literary style it’s all a bit prosaic.

my husband since I was 18, husband good job in city, children in private schools, best street in the area... dull if true (unlikely) turgid and unimaginative if not.

On the very remote chance this is real and not a cynical self promotion, keep going but it’s not so remarkable to be brought to others attention

[Goldhawk]

"people don’t talk about their sex lives or the state of their marriages"

Lots of people I am friends with talk about both...

[Bunnypigeon1]

It strikes me as someone desperate for outside validation. The whole 'I'm so fantastic because I'm middle class and live in Clapham and therefore God forbid I come into contact with someone not like me' is a bit sad.
Then again, it's an amusing read and I read the whole thing, so it has entertainment value certainly. Not something I would ever partake in but happy that it works for you and that you are willing to share it for the world!

[Jellie75]

Red velvet sofas? Really?! You kind of lost me there in that I had to question if this is all actually fictional and not RL.

I don't really have an opinion on what you and your husband are in to and certainly don't find it shocking - each to there own. I do find the tone rather snobby though, in a milder version of Katie Hopkins sort of way.

I enjoyed the read, and would follow your story. Wouldn't buy the book.

[LizzieTheNappy]

I'm afraid I stopped reading at the 'more expensive parties mean it isn't going to be full of chavs or unattractive people'. Is your real name Katy Hopkins by any chance?

[battyseemum]

I'm quite surprised and disappointed by the judgemental, troll-like comments made here. Have the nappyvalley mums just been outed as small-minded, prudish bigots? I certainly hope not. But this is what I'm seeing in these responses.

@elodiemax has been super gracious in her response to your comments, taking it all on board and offering further information, despite being personally attacked by a lot of you.

Go for it @elodiemax! If it works and you're both happy and it's also able to provide you with masses of content for some creative outlet then it's a win win for you and your husband.

[Needcoffeenow]

Actually I’m finding the blogs quite hilarious. Am picturing Elodie in ten year’s time desperately trying to summon up the energy for all this stuff after spending evening arguing with stroppy teenage children and being woken up after returning from sexual encounter by gallumphing child who has realised at 4am that they have lost their house key - again!

[Mummy in Surrey]

I don't want to be harsh... I hardly post...

Sorry to say, I found your blog a bit sad. I got to the end of the second chapter and couldn't read anymore.

You don't sound "liberated" as you are self conscious about showing your mum-tum and the tone suggests you are faking some kind of enjoyment. Do you have self esteem issues? Having sex In front of your husband doesn't excuse the existing problems that you have with one another. One day you will still be at square one. By then you would of exhausted all sexual options and be left with an older and wrinkled shell. A shell which won't be appealing.

It's an emotional head Fxxx and the only people this could effect is your children, if you let something slip. No pun intended!

Also, would you suggest this unorthodox route, for one of your children, if their marriage hits a blip in 30 years?!