Cleaner impasse Post Reply

[CleanerDates]

We’ve had our wonderful cleaner for five years – she’s hardworking, reliable, and an absolute gem. She comes twice a week (Monday and Friday, 6 hours each day), which works perfectly for us.

Our very alpha neighbours, who’ve struggled to keep cleaners, recently took her on for 3 hours every two weeks – her only vacancy. Since she goes directly from our house to theirs, it works out logistically.

The issue now? She’s offered them a weekly Wednesday slot that’s opened up. To make this work, she explained, we would need to swap one or of our days. They’ve been putting more pressure on us – even inviting us over for Christmas drinks tonight to “resolve the cleaner impasse.”

I love our current routine: spotless for the weekend, and Monday clears up the weekend chaos. I don’t want to swap.

Should I feel obliged to accommodate?

[Lookingforananny2024]

Came her looking for a nanny but couldn't resist replying, big part of my profession is this.

This is a classic case of value transfer.

You have something you value highly – the cleaner on Monday and Friday – and your neighbours are asking you to swap it for something you value less: Wednesday cleaning.

There’s plenty of economic theory on how this resolves fairly, and it boils down to three options:

1. Don’t swap

You retain the value of your current arrangement, and your neighbours gain nothing. The downside? You might lose social capital or goodwill with them. If that matters, you might explore a compromise.

2. Swap and lose out This is not good for you, you're effectively handing them a slice of your happiness. Hard to measure and many have tried but what you do know is it's less good for you.

3. Swap, but make them "make good" on the value transfer.

The most fair solution except it's socially awkward for a number of reasons. For example, if the cleaner charges £20/hour for them and £10/hour for you, they could cover the difference to compensate for your loss of value.

4. They pay the cleaner enough to drop her other Friday client.

The free-market solution! Your neighbours would effectively pay a premium for a coveted Friday slot. It’s fair in theory, but risky – they may decide to outbid you further down the line and squeeze you out entirely.

Ultimately, those are the options:

- Don’t swap.
- Swap and lose out
- Swap, but make them pay up for the value shortfall
- Pay her more to drop the other client

[Lookingforananny2024]

*four options

[CyclingLondon]

Please take this comment in the way it's intended "Lookingforananny" but I think your reply is the most correct and most useless I've read anywhere for a long time.

 :D

[Btwmum]

This is amazing. Are you an economist?
Using a theory to respond to a practical query but not offering any real solution!!!!

[TootsNewMum]

Brilliant, logical and objective response!

[Lookingforananny2024]

Thank you everyone.

*Does Dab*

[Bunnyboots]

CleanerDates,
You’ve probably had your meeting with the neighbours now to talk about the ‘impasse’ so maybe the problem has been resolved.
If not, I think you should just say no. What good is it to you to have the cleaner come on a Monday and then again two days later on the Wednesday?! Your neighbours have got a cheek, you’ve had the arrangement you’re happy with for five years and now they expect you to change it for their benefit. Why can’t they have the Wednesday slot? Or they could just find another cleaner!

[StarInTheEast]

Lookingforananny:
In a nativity play you would be an ass.

[Mikeydon]

Ah, the classic cleaner conundrum—how could anyone not want to bend over backward for their incredibly alpha neighbors just to accommodate a schedule change? Surely, no one could possibly enjoy the blissful routine of a perfectly cleaned house on Mondays and Fridays. It’s such an outdated luxury, really. The idea of your cleaner moving her schedule around for them is just the kind of thrilling family drama you need in your life, isn’t it?

And inviting you over for Christmas drinks to “resolve the cleaner impasse”—I mean, who wouldn’t want to spend the festive season discussing that? Surely, it’s the most pressing issue on everyone’s mind. Forget world peace or climate change—this is where you should focus your energy.

As for the pressure they’ve been putting on you, how sweet of them! Nothing says “neighbourly love” quite like manipulating you into reworking your entire cleaning routine to make room for their high-powered schedules. Because obviously your weekend’s cleanliness and the carefully curated chaos of your week have no value compared to their need for a Wednesday slot. You must feel so flattered that they think your routine should bend to accommodate them.

So, no, you absolutely shouldn’t feel obliged to accommodate them. You should feel totally comfortable standing firm on your rightful spot in the cleaner’s busy calendar and letting your neighbours work it out themselves. After all, no one should have to rearrange their life just because someone else can’t maintain a cleaning schedule without creating drama.

[Jonquil]

This is a person we are talking about, not a Sainsbury’s delivery slot. I think the cleaner should state what her best option is not have two neighbours bickering over ownership.

[Kirstie’s Mom]

I think the response is a good one . Only the person asking the question can decide which result she can live with and the four results are exactly what she needs to think about . I think perhaps the role of ass belongs to you .

[chorister]

I can’t believe I have read this - as someone else said, this is an individual not a tradeable delivery slot that you can trade with a neighbour, alpha or not. I reckon you are really lucky that the cleaner hasn’t said “stuff the pair of you”. After all those years of valuing her being “lovely” you obviously aren’t willing to meet her halfway.

[StarInTheEast]

Exactly this. Your cleaner obviously wants to accommodate the neighbours, but you feel she is ‘yours’ and that you have rights to her schedule :

Week 1 MBA decision options are a pathetic theoretical tool for this non-dilemma. Posters excited by the reminder of a theory they once learnt (ooh ooh - I know this!) should consider applying common sense and decency instead.

You sound as tragic as each other. Hope your cleaner dumps you both. Good luck!

[Countess Binface]

It's between you and your cleaner.

You don't really want her coming Wed then Friday as Friday won't be 'messy' enough , the days are not far enough apart.

She has to decide with you, so discuss with her and negotiate suitable arrangement for *you, with your existing cleaner.

She may opt to do something else.
She wont drop 2 days a week work, for one day at neighbour, unless theyre paying her more obviously.