Dating midlife - advice please Post Reply

[Dating Mid Life]

Hi
Looking for advice on dating for a recently divorced mother in SW London.

I’m local (Balham) and with two young school age children there isn’t a huge amount of time to “get back out there” but I would like to dip my toe in.

Questions I have are:

1.⁠ ⁠are all the apps horrid or are there some that are better for parents? If so which ones?
2.⁠ ⁠⁠would you recommend apps at all? If not what other routes are there?
3.⁠ ⁠⁠I have a horror of doing “first dates” on Northcote Road, for example, and then bumping into a class night out from the school. Is it better to focus on a different area and if so where? Does that affect my dating "pool"?
4.⁠ ⁠I have an even bigger fear of matching with parents from school! Is there a way around that?

Sorry for all the dumb questions.

Thanks in advance.

[Anon1234]

Definitely give it a go - try to see it as fun to start off with and a good way of meeting people. I found it hard to meet people any other way.

There are some more serious apps like eharmony rather than the likes of Tinder and Bumble, but try them and see what you think. You can’t match with anyone unless you want to - although they can see your profile of course.

Be prepared for some slightly weird profiles and odd chats - think of them as funny stories to tell afterwards! It’s not all like that.

Go for dates where it makes sense for both of you - depending on where they live too. Perhaps you’ll end up on Northcote Road and I’m sure it’ll be fine…

Good luck and enjoy!

[Mikeydon]

Hey, what could possibly go wrong when diving into the world of dating apps as a newly single mum? I mean, it's not like half the people on there are still emotionally attached to their exes, using outdated selfies, or just looking for someone to share their avocado toast obsession. And don't worry about matching with parents from school. Go ahead, dip that toe in! I'm sure the water’s *super* warm and not at all full of questionable characters.

[Giveitago]

Felt compelled to post on this one as we have had a few friends find love in midlife and wanted to share some of the ways/places they have met. There are the apps listed by the first poster but we also know people who have met new partners at exercise clubs (one at British Military Fitness) but you could also try out hiking / walking groups, kayaking days on the Thames etc with friends. If that’s less your speed you can always go to art workshops etc with friends and see what happens. There is no reason why you can’t have a good time doing something fun, and then meet someone without having to dive deeply into dating/apps.
We also know quite a lot of people who have met on the online dating pages of newspapers (e.g. Times etc).

The other thing to bear in mind is that the apps are filled with loads of people in the same position you’re in right now too. Much like in person dating, you’re likely to have the odd person who is not a great match, but agree with the first person that you can chalk it up to an anecdote and make a swift exit.

Wishing you the best of luck with it all. If the people I know are anything to go by, matches made in midlife seem to be happier and more enduring.

[Btwmum]

I am in the same position! Not divorced yet but father of the kids is leaving me for an younger woman.
Not sure I am ready to date but my circle of friends has been couples with kids for the past 10 odd years and I find it hard to find female/male friends who would want to go to theatre, cinema, concert etc with me and without their partners and also can understand having kids at home.
Is there a single parent meet up group?
I met many people at baby classes back in the days.. lol
Please keep on posting, as I would be keen to hear any tips!

[Newsinglemum]

Oh hey there dating midlife and btwmum... can I join the this motley crew? Divorcing too - same old story - hubby found a new, younger, child-free model shortly after I became a non-child free model. Not quite ready to dip my toe in yet, but I'm getting there and would love to know how!! I've never used any sort of dating app, having met ex the old fashioned way (in person, at work).

Btwmum - I've discovered my local Gingerbread group and the Frolo app (they have a dating section too - just for single parents).

I welcome any other suggestions!

[Jellie75]

Hello!

I’m a divorced mum and I have been with my new partner, a local divorced single dad, for 4 years now… we met through FROLO, a brilliant app and community for single parents. I wasn’t looking for a relationship at the time so feel super lucky it happened.

And there is also now have a FROLO dating app!

Whilst I’m super lucky to have really supportive friends from my ‘married days’, it’s been a lifeline for me since my divorce, making lots of new friends, both mums and dads, who are in the same boat and just ‘get it’. There are are lots of local meet ups and you can find other Frolos with children of similar ages and with similar child arrangements for those weekends with/without children so it’s not just for the adults - the kids benefit too and my daughter has some lovely Frolo ‘siblings’.

We have our frolo tribe and they are always there with advice or if you need a cheering squad. I can’t recommend anything better so do look them up.

Good luck!
X

[Jellie75]

Hello!

I’m a divorced mum and I have been with my new partner, a local divorced single dad, for 4 years now… we met through FROLO, a brilliant app and community for single parents. I wasn’t looking for a relationship at the time so feel super lucky it happened.

And there is also now have a FROLO dating app!

Whilst I’m super lucky to have really supportive friends from my ‘married days’, it’s been a lifeline for me since my divorce, making lots of new friends, both mums and dads, who are in the same boat and just ‘get it’. There are are lots of local meet ups and you can find other Frolos with children of similar ages and with similar child arrangements for those weekends with/without children so it’s not just for the adults - the kids benefit too and my daughter has some lovely Frolo ‘siblings’.

We have our frolo tribe and they are always there with advice or if you need a cheering squad. I can’t recommend anything better so do look them up.

Good luck!
X

[Dating Mid Life]

Sorry for being so quiet, had a lot going on.

FROLO and Gingerbread sound like great ideas. I had stayed away from those as they felt a bit like those groups in "About a Boy" but I think that's my own biasis creeping in.

I'll give them a go.

Thank you to everyone else who has contributed, a lot to think about.