Postby glasshalffull » Mon Mar 24, 2025 4:53 pm
Hi, I have been on this journey myself and as a parent it is hard to come to terms with if you have no educational needs personally. I have two dyslexic boys and really struggled myself with their diagnoses as I am a stickler for spelling and an avid reader, I just couldn't get why they couldn't do what comes so naturally to me. Also, even though they are both dyslexic, they present completely differently, there is not a 'typical' dyslexic.
It does sound like your son has dyslexia and probably processing issues as well, where, at its simplest, information just doesn't always stick in the correct part of the brain. In fact, what highlighted our journey with my eldest was in Year 3 where he couldn't remember how to say words from one sentence to the next even though we had sounded them out. There are techniques to help move information and retain it better.
Key things you have mentioned stick out to me such as not remembering how to spell words even though you have practiced them and also on simple words too. Phonics was an absolute nightmare for us in the early days as, instead of learning how a word was spelt, it gave my son 13 different ways of making the 'ay' sound - as a dyslexic that means it is even more complex.
My sons both have excellent spoken English and use complex sentences and words, and yet, putting pen to paper it all goes wrong for them and they can end up writing very phonetically (like your son). Once my sons have to start concentrating on remembering capital letters, grammar, spelling, getting words and letters in the right order, their brains fry and the result is basic sentences with words and obvious things spelt incorrectly. We often used to get them to dictate stories to us for homework and we would write the words down as you would get two totally different versions. At 14 and 16 now, things have definitely improved and my eldest got a 6 in GCSE English - a phenomenal feat for him. It is very frustrating as a parent without dyslexia and comparing your child to those around him, but the worst thing you will do is be exasperated with him - he cannot help it and if he feels he is failing it will make the situation worse. Memorising is actually a skill that a lot of dyslexics use to mask their problems so the fact he can memorise monologues is no indicator unfortunately.
You say he is a happy, clever boy - you can be dyslexic, happy and extremely clever! One does not preclude the other. My younger son likes nothing better than to discuss the finer points of quantum physics with me (at 14) and yet he is also dyslexic. I believe so were Albert Einstein and Stephen Hawking, and many other notables. The recommendation from your school to see an Educational Psychiatrist is not to establish that there is a psychological problem - I'd put money on the fact they will find dyslexia and processing at the least. But what it will do is provide a formal document so he can access more help in school and give you the means to demand it as well, as you may have to fight at times for your child to ensure they get what they need. An excellent educational Psychologist is Pascale Mather, in Dulwich Pascale Mather, Chartered Child and Educational Psychologist , BSC, PGCE, MSC, C.PSychol, AFBPSs
46 Red Post Hill
London,
SE24 9JQ
07587292824
Luckily as he is at a private school, you are probably able to afford the testing, plus ensure tutoring, support etc is all in place for him that he may need at future points in his education. At least you won't have to rely on council-funded SEN support. Be grateful for that as so many are not in that position and none of this is cheap! The document from the Ed Psych will also help staff at the school develop a learning plan for lessons, maybe to teach chunked information and break it down so it is easier to assimilate for him, make sure he has 20% extra time in exams and formal exams in the future, to make sure he can read and understand questions and have time to check his work afterwards. His needs may change as he progresses through school and, if he is intending to take the 11+ for example, it would be better to have these addressed now and taken into consideration for those test timings.
In addition, I would also get him assessed for Visual Stress alongside the dyslexia - there is an excellent consultancy called The Visual Stress Consultancy - find on facebook - this relates to light spectrums and cutting out certain waves of light - at a basic level you might be familiar with the very basic use of Ihrlens coloured overlays in schools - this goes much further and are worn as glasses and it can be transformative with seeing letters the correct way round, not seeing blurring/movement around letters or white rivers down through text - all of which my sons were experiencing to a greater or lesser degree but had never mentioned because they thought it was 'normal'. I learnt about it by fluke as it is not discussed as much but has co-morbidity with dyslexia and other conditions and I wanted to make sure that I had tested everything to give them the best chances they could have. He will also require an eye test for this as well.
Be aware that for exams in the future, being diagnosed, he will be able to use a laptop, and many find it easier to do so, but no Grammarly or spelling checker is able to be used in exams. I have always compared the treatment of dyslexic children to asking the top sportsperson in a year at school to run the 100m against a child on crutches with a broken leg and then complaining that the injured child didn't try hard enough. Dyslexia is the ultimate in discrimination against children in school as you are expected to compete on the same educational playing field with a hidden 'disability', be judged on something that you have absolutely no control over, in an education system that values the ones that find it the easiest. It infuriates me that, in a world where tech is readily available to help with spelling and grammar, children who need the help can't access it to be able to show their thinking and academic capabilities without being judged first on whether they can spell the words correctly.
In real life beyond school education, all these things will be available to them and I really hope it will change with education in the future - after all, the thinking is the key part of it all.
Ultimately, my sons are musical, creative, very sporting, one of them very academic, one of them entrepreneurial. They are well-rounded, kind, charming young men. They also happen to be dyslexic. With your support and some adjusted teaching and learning, your son will shine. I wish you luck with it all x
