Class Act

When parents have a hunch they’ve made a mistake with their school choice, should they ride it out or switch as quickly as possible? Georgina Blaskey looks at why, when and how you should change, and when to avoid doing it altogether.

The days of sticking out a school for the entirety of your education have been consigned to the history books. Now it’s more common for adults in children’s lives to listen and observe children’s behaviour and concerns and work out why they may not be happy at their school. Moving at unusual times isn’t as rare as it once was and children, often adaptable, are enjoying the benefits. “Generally moving school works well,” says Janie Richardson of Yellowbird Education. “If parents see something isn’t working and the child is not thriving, it’s the right thing to do.”

It could be said that choosing a school when your child is as young as two years old is a random undertaking; you don’t know how your child will develop, and you can only hope the school you choose is the ight one for them. But as they grow up, their character and abilities become more established and a change might be needed. In some cases, this will be obvious – your child may need more SEN support than the school can offer, or require better sports or drama facilities. But what if something doesn’t seem right and you can’t put your finger on it? What are the warning signs of an unhappy child?

If your child is refusing to go to school and talks to you about it, it’s clear there is a problem. But when children aren’t happy and aren’t talking about it, it shows in different ways. “There may be physical signs of worry, such as eczema, stomach aches, headaches,” explains Melissa Hood of The Parent Practice. “They could show regressive behaviour, such as childish chat or being clingy; they could be irritable, angry and have difficulty sleeping.” It depends on the emotional intelligence of the child and the culture in the family as to whether they feel they have to ‘man-up’ and deal with their feelings on their own, or if they feel they can talk.

Hood suggests opening a conversation with, “The way you’re talking to me/behaving makes me wonder if something’s up.” First explore the feelings behind the behaviour, understand what’s triggering the anger or clinginess, and then, in the case of anger or rudeness, make sure your child understands it’s not okay and they are accountable for their actions.

For little ones who may not be able to explain their feelings, it’s easy to miss that naughty, defiant and regressive behaviour which means something’s not right. “It could be a sign that they’re anxious at school or have low self-esteem. Some may try to seize control where they can, such as refusing to eat,” says Hood. If your child is finding it hard to fall asleep, wets the bed when they were dry, wakes up in the night with bad dreams, is sucking their thumb once more or even hair pulling, they may be unhappy.

“Even if you can’t pinpoint exactly what’s happening, just by enquiring you are putting yourself in a more compassionate space with your child,” advises Hood.

Once you’ve identified school as the cause, it’s time to talk to the teachers. Alida Casey, Schools Consultant at Mentor Education, advises a period of investigation before making any rash decisions. “Has your school been proactive in finding out the root cause of the unhappiness? Is it related to the difficulty of the work or is it a pastoral problem, such as friendships or other social issues? I would ask the teacher and head of year for a meeting first of all. Whatever they implement may take time to take effect. Work with the school to discover the source of the upset and if that doesn’t improve your child’s wellbeing, have a conversation about alternate schools.”

If you’re able to recognise that they may be better suited to a different educational environment, you can start enquiring for occasional places and joining waiting lists. Casey explains the process: “Listen closely to the school about your child’s abilities. You know your child’s personality better than anyone. Visit some schools and get a feel for the atmosphere. Talk to the teachers who would be directly responsible for your child and if you feel the school is a good fit, bring your child along next time. If the choice of schools is too confusing, consult an agency for an assessment of your child’s strengths and weaknesses and talk to them about the best school choice.”

Consultants can be invaluable when it comes to educational expertise and knowledge about the nuances of various schools for a successful transfer, potentially opening up options you may not have considered before and ensuring that the problem doesn’t continue.

Moving at primary level can be fairly simple. “It’s relatively easy to move school but there are tricky times to avoid when there may be a bulge of applicants. Among boys this can be at 7+ (entry in Year 3) and in general schools don’t want to take in new pupils at Year 6 if the school finishes at the end of that year.

If they continue to Year 8, you will be more successful,” suggests Janie Richardson of Yellowbird Education

At secondary level, it’s very hard to move in the middle of GCSEs and A levels. William Petty, Director at Bonas MacFarlane Education, explains: “Every exit point has its pros and cons. The absolute no-go is moving from Year 10 into Year 11. This is due to the multiple examination boards employed by schools across their subjects, the two-year length of the GCSE course and the non-transferable nature of coursework. Should you absolutely have to consider moving your child though you need to explore tutorial colleges, schools offering one-year GCSE courses and international schools unburdened by the GCSE programme.”

The trend for moving at sixth form continues, especially among girls from single-sex to co-ed, and those who want to board for A levels to gain independence and focus on their final exams

A change for sixth form is a more natural transition but if it’s for any other reason, parents are advised to make the move to ensure that the child thrives in the right environment. Richardson’s parting advice is clear: “If you see something isn’t working, don’t be afraid of moving. Always look at the child and their needs though, not at what you want.”